Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Hurray! Grandparents arrived
Today we welcome P's parents. They had a good trip and they went to bed at 9 pm: They will not have a severe jet lag. The kids are so excited to see them. A keeps on calling grandma 'Anneanne' which is grandma in Turkish. It is very strange because she was calling my mother 'Oma', grandma in Dutch. Go figure!
How not to buy furniture@!
While the girls are putting on some make-up (help!), I would like to tell you about F's princess room furniture. Maybe you know it, we ordered it months ago by a nice but confused lady - we didn't know that then. First of all, the room we ordered never arrived, the production company went bankrupt. Well the lady couldn't do anything about it. We never got our down payment back so I called her. She said she was happy I called, she couldn't find our address anymore. I said 'keep the payment' send me this other room'. Very nice of me. Weeks went by without any news.
The kids enjoy sleeping in the same room but hey keep each other awake, too. F's room became a storage, what a waste of space. I have in our room and in the basement stuff that has to go in F's room but I cannot tidy it up. I cannot settle totally before F's room is ready. It is irritating.
The day before we leave for Turkey, the furniture arrived. I never had seen it before, only on Internet, and I really liked it. I liked it better than the first one we ordered. The guys from the transportation company brought the bed, the box spring and mattress, the dresser, the nightstand and the mirror upstairs. Only the dresser and the nightstand were not packed in and what do I see...they were not from the same set. The dresser was scratched and damaged. I told the guy that the delivery didn't seem OK. He looked in the other boxes to see that the rest of the pieces matched with the nightstand. The dresser was something else. He told me he would wait while I call the lady who sold us the stuff. I called her to hear that the dresser of our set was damaged and she would order a new one. In the mean while, she lent us another from her showroom. Very nice, especially when you don't bother to let your client know about it. Steam came out of my ears and I said 'well nice, but I don't think I will pay you'. I was afraid I would get stuck with the other dresser that I wasn't planning to use. She started a whole story about the stuff we received, it costs all money (OK, That's true), she sent us a good dresser instead to use for a while.... Finally we agreed that I will pay a big part of the bill, and the rest would be due to the time the dresser arrives. The dresser would arrive after we were back from Turkey.
This week I have been calling the lady. She told me first that the transportation guy would call me make an appointment, he had the dresser in his truck. He never called. I kept calling to ask what was happening. Today she told me that the guy didn't call me yet because there was a damage on the dresser and he wanted to check if it could be repaired (!!) and he wanted the lady to call me to see if this was OK.?????I asked why it was damaged. 'Well this kind of things happen even when a piece comes from the factory'. She had a story I cannot recall explaining why it is going to be OK and why she didn't order a new dresser. At the end I said as long as I receive a good piece of furniture, it was OK. I am so tired of this whole story, I just don't want to hassle anymore! Of course I had a bad feeling about it and I called back. I got the answering machine. I talked as nice as possible, and said that I hope to get a NEW piece of furniture, one that is not damaged and one that is not used. I don't expect her to be happy about my message, but if she saw the steam coming out of my ears, she would thank me for being so nice and decent! To be continued....
The kids enjoy sleeping in the same room but hey keep each other awake, too. F's room became a storage, what a waste of space. I have in our room and in the basement stuff that has to go in F's room but I cannot tidy it up. I cannot settle totally before F's room is ready. It is irritating.
The day before we leave for Turkey, the furniture arrived. I never had seen it before, only on Internet, and I really liked it. I liked it better than the first one we ordered. The guys from the transportation company brought the bed, the box spring and mattress, the dresser, the nightstand and the mirror upstairs. Only the dresser and the nightstand were not packed in and what do I see...they were not from the same set. The dresser was scratched and damaged. I told the guy that the delivery didn't seem OK. He looked in the other boxes to see that the rest of the pieces matched with the nightstand. The dresser was something else. He told me he would wait while I call the lady who sold us the stuff. I called her to hear that the dresser of our set was damaged and she would order a new one. In the mean while, she lent us another from her showroom. Very nice, especially when you don't bother to let your client know about it. Steam came out of my ears and I said 'well nice, but I don't think I will pay you'. I was afraid I would get stuck with the other dresser that I wasn't planning to use. She started a whole story about the stuff we received, it costs all money (OK, That's true), she sent us a good dresser instead to use for a while.... Finally we agreed that I will pay a big part of the bill, and the rest would be due to the time the dresser arrives. The dresser would arrive after we were back from Turkey.
This week I have been calling the lady. She told me first that the transportation guy would call me make an appointment, he had the dresser in his truck. He never called. I kept calling to ask what was happening. Today she told me that the guy didn't call me yet because there was a damage on the dresser and he wanted to check if it could be repaired (!!) and he wanted the lady to call me to see if this was OK.?????I asked why it was damaged. 'Well this kind of things happen even when a piece comes from the factory'. She had a story I cannot recall explaining why it is going to be OK and why she didn't order a new dresser. At the end I said as long as I receive a good piece of furniture, it was OK. I am so tired of this whole story, I just don't want to hassle anymore! Of course I had a bad feeling about it and I called back. I got the answering machine. I talked as nice as possible, and said that I hope to get a NEW piece of furniture, one that is not damaged and one that is not used. I don't expect her to be happy about my message, but if she saw the steam coming out of my ears, she would thank me for being so nice and decent! To be continued....
Monday, May 12, 2008
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Expat wife dilemma's
Where do I start this time... It is a rainy Sunday, P is in Sweden. When I am not working and P is not home, everyday looks like the same. Everyday is week-end or worse, everyday is a week day. There is no vacation but how can I complain, everyday is vacation. It feel uncomfortable not to work outside the house but I don't want to be doing all of the house work either. I still expect contribution from P. Do I have to feel guilty or not. Hey other expat wives out there, what do you think? (silence.... not to think is easier, should I learn from this advise?)
We started the day with baking cookies with the girls, always a favorite of me. We found out one more time that the oven here is hotter that the oven I am used to work with. The first party was partly eatable. The second party was good. We played a lot of princess where I am the prince. I kind of became good in this game. I can combine it with any daily activity. When we are cleaning up, the prince asks the princess if she wants to help and she is more than happy to do it. Eating is is a piece of cake. I get my dialogs dictated by F. A is my little sister who happens to call me 'mom! Well, I have a lot of patience, that's for sure.
Then I got the call from P saying that his day was not good. Then I start thinking about the questions about working, not working, how long are we going to be here, what if we are all of a sudden sent back. I know this is all part of the adventure, but the effect of moving here on the kids was quite something, we are still settling. I don't even want to think about it if we have to make another move from here too soon. I think the rain outside makes me a bit negative today. I will stop now.
We started the day with baking cookies with the girls, always a favorite of me. We found out one more time that the oven here is hotter that the oven I am used to work with. The first party was partly eatable. The second party was good. We played a lot of princess where I am the prince. I kind of became good in this game. I can combine it with any daily activity. When we are cleaning up, the prince asks the princess if she wants to help and she is more than happy to do it. Eating is is a piece of cake. I get my dialogs dictated by F. A is my little sister who happens to call me 'mom! Well, I have a lot of patience, that's for sure.
Then I got the call from P saying that his day was not good. Then I start thinking about the questions about working, not working, how long are we going to be here, what if we are all of a sudden sent back. I know this is all part of the adventure, but the effect of moving here on the kids was quite something, we are still settling. I don't even want to think about it if we have to make another move from here too soon. I think the rain outside makes me a bit negative today. I will stop now.
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Empty streets
It is very nice being home. Today it was not sunny, a little chilly maybe, but still nice. We were outside walking around, biking and playing ball with the kids. These are nice moment but also very lonely moments. There is no one outside, no kids playing, no parents walking or working in the garden or getting some fresh air. That's America. Americans live inside. That's why the houses are huge and the basement is so important - that's where the parents keep the toys and let the children play without bothering them. Well, what I say is not totally true. There are quite some families spending their week-end at the sport games of their children and driving around to go from one field to another. But still no one outside just for the fun of it!
We registered F to a soccer program. She will start next fall. Today we were 'practicing' and I have to say she is doing quite well. She was not allowed actually, 23 days too young to register, but I sent an email saying that we were new here, F didn't speak English but Turkish and the coach of her age group is also Turkish. The mail helped, she is allowed! I hope she will enjoy it, she is changing ideas a little fast lately. She might say she actually wanted to do ballet!
We registered F to a soccer program. She will start next fall. Today we were 'practicing' and I have to say she is doing quite well. She was not allowed actually, 23 days too young to register, but I sent an email saying that we were new here, F didn't speak English but Turkish and the coach of her age group is also Turkish. The mail helped, she is allowed! I hope she will enjoy it, she is changing ideas a little fast lately. She might say she actually wanted to do ballet!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
How to fly overseas with children...
The kids are playing nicely and I will use this opportunity to write an update. We are back in the USA, I can go back to writing some expat stuff instead of posting vacation news. We came back May 1st, that means we left May 1st thanks to the hour difference between Turkey and USA.
A tip if you are flying with Lufthansa and you have kids: you cannot reserve seats or check-in online. May 1st is a Thursday, I started calling Lufthansa Monday before with the hope that they can reserve me good seats. when you fly with children overseas and the person sitting in front of you decides to be annoying and lay all the way down with his chair, the kids basically disappear underneath. The best places are the ones facing a separation wall. There is no one in front and the kids can stand up without pulling or hitting the front seat - so mommy doesn't have to keep on saying 'do not bother other people, be careful'. Although I was not very late with calling Lufthansa, they could reserve good seats for the flight to Munich. After Munich we were lucky to have seats next to each other.
Thursday morning at 2:50 am I got out of bed. I was already quite tired of the stress I had the last couple of days. If I am to fly, I am stressed and flying overseas with kids make it only worst. The only good thing about it that all the adrenaline keeps me awake and gives me the energy till I arrive to my destination and collapse. My parents were both up and they were coming to the airport with us. My poor father had a whole day of work waiting for him after we left! 3:30 we took the kids to the car.
F has something of my stress I think. She was asking me the day before if the plane had arrived yet. She was ready to leave and go to USA. She refused to sleep the night before and was totally hyper. At 3:30 she was totally awake again and asking me if the plane was there yet. Where does she get all that energy from! At the airport I explained F that we will first fly to Germany, get out of the plane, get on another plane and go to home. It is always better to explain to the kids what will happen next, otherwise they might refuse to get on the second plane and make a big scene - always a blast for parents!
We said good bye to my parents. I think they need couple weeks to rest to get back in shape. My grandmother always used to say 'It is nice to welcome visitors and it is as nice to say good bye to them'. I think my parents got the true meaning of this during this vacation. The first part of the trip was very comfortable, our seats were perfect and the kids were very calm although they were awake. 10 minutes after we took off, F had her usual question about when we actually are going to fly. She just doesn't seem to get it!
Did I mention before that I used this 'Cares' safety restraint to buckle up the kids. It is much better than carrying around a car seat in the plane. Check it out at http://www.kidsflysafe.com/if you have little children. I had the whole Lufthansa crew check it, because they never saw it before. After it was 'approved' they actually liked it as well.
We arrived to Munich without any problems. The kids just read and listened to IPod with kids music and stories on it. At the airport, F helped with the hand luggage. Both kids actually carried their own little backpacks. Of course F first didn't understand why we were leaving America again as we had just arrived. After explaining that we were in Germany, she was OK with it. Of course the second part of the trip was less comfy, we didn't have the nice seats thanks to the Lufthansa seat reservation software. -Maybe a project opportunity for Deloitte Germany? -
We had of course the regular inspection and approval of the Cares system. I had the portable DVD player, books, puzzles and color pencils - this was about all we needed. The plane has its own video system, too. Nice thing about Lufthansa system is that you can actually decide when you want to see which film or program. You can pause, rewind and forward your film, all with the help of a touch screen - especially interesting for children at ages around 2!
As I mentioned, we had not the best seats. The guy in front of me decided to lay his seat down. I asked him very nicely not to over exaggerate it. I don't have the chance to lay down and enjoy myself with two kids. We are quite active going to the restroom, getting drinks, going to the restroom again - never a dull moment! So I need at least some space to be able to move around. The guy said 'oh sorry' and didn't lay all the way down. Unfortunately after the first restroom visit, we came back to see that he did it during our absence. I was, of course, a little irritated with this action. I mean, if the person in front of him was laying as well, then I would say OK, but the seat in front of him stood upright. His wasn't so tall either. Most of the trip, we were unable to use the middle seat. F sat on one side and I sat with A on the other side. Luckily, A fell asleep and she laid down on the 'out of order' middle seat. When she woke up couple hours later, she was totally active. Trust me, I didn't say a word to her when she was pushing and pulling the seat in front of her. The guy deserved it. Oh yes, when F was watching a film on the DVD player, it was right at the same level as the ear of our front neighbour. But honestly, we didn't have to do anything special for all these 'vengeance' actions. Its just the lack of space. If you respect the fellow passengers, you just take the others into account and do not lay your seat all the way down just because the seat can go so far!
8 hours, 2 films and 20 restroom visits later we arrived to USA. Passport control and customs and...Papa! The kids and I were very happy to see P and he was very happy to see us. We are back home!
A tip if you are flying with Lufthansa and you have kids: you cannot reserve seats or check-in online. May 1st is a Thursday, I started calling Lufthansa Monday before with the hope that they can reserve me good seats. when you fly with children overseas and the person sitting in front of you decides to be annoying and lay all the way down with his chair, the kids basically disappear underneath. The best places are the ones facing a separation wall. There is no one in front and the kids can stand up without pulling or hitting the front seat - so mommy doesn't have to keep on saying 'do not bother other people, be careful'. Although I was not very late with calling Lufthansa, they could reserve good seats for the flight to Munich. After Munich we were lucky to have seats next to each other.
Thursday morning at 2:50 am I got out of bed. I was already quite tired of the stress I had the last couple of days. If I am to fly, I am stressed and flying overseas with kids make it only worst. The only good thing about it that all the adrenaline keeps me awake and gives me the energy till I arrive to my destination and collapse. My parents were both up and they were coming to the airport with us. My poor father had a whole day of work waiting for him after we left! 3:30 we took the kids to the car.
F has something of my stress I think. She was asking me the day before if the plane had arrived yet. She was ready to leave and go to USA. She refused to sleep the night before and was totally hyper. At 3:30 she was totally awake again and asking me if the plane was there yet. Where does she get all that energy from! At the airport I explained F that we will first fly to Germany, get out of the plane, get on another plane and go to home. It is always better to explain to the kids what will happen next, otherwise they might refuse to get on the second plane and make a big scene - always a blast for parents!
We said good bye to my parents. I think they need couple weeks to rest to get back in shape. My grandmother always used to say 'It is nice to welcome visitors and it is as nice to say good bye to them'. I think my parents got the true meaning of this during this vacation. The first part of the trip was very comfortable, our seats were perfect and the kids were very calm although they were awake. 10 minutes after we took off, F had her usual question about when we actually are going to fly. She just doesn't seem to get it!
Did I mention before that I used this 'Cares' safety restraint to buckle up the kids. It is much better than carrying around a car seat in the plane. Check it out at http://www.kidsflysafe.com/if you have little children. I had the whole Lufthansa crew check it, because they never saw it before. After it was 'approved' they actually liked it as well.
We arrived to Munich without any problems. The kids just read and listened to IPod with kids music and stories on it. At the airport, F helped with the hand luggage. Both kids actually carried their own little backpacks. Of course F first didn't understand why we were leaving America again as we had just arrived. After explaining that we were in Germany, she was OK with it. Of course the second part of the trip was less comfy, we didn't have the nice seats thanks to the Lufthansa seat reservation software. -Maybe a project opportunity for Deloitte Germany? -
We had of course the regular inspection and approval of the Cares system. I had the portable DVD player, books, puzzles and color pencils - this was about all we needed. The plane has its own video system, too. Nice thing about Lufthansa system is that you can actually decide when you want to see which film or program. You can pause, rewind and forward your film, all with the help of a touch screen - especially interesting for children at ages around 2!
As I mentioned, we had not the best seats. The guy in front of me decided to lay his seat down. I asked him very nicely not to over exaggerate it. I don't have the chance to lay down and enjoy myself with two kids. We are quite active going to the restroom, getting drinks, going to the restroom again - never a dull moment! So I need at least some space to be able to move around. The guy said 'oh sorry' and didn't lay all the way down. Unfortunately after the first restroom visit, we came back to see that he did it during our absence. I was, of course, a little irritated with this action. I mean, if the person in front of him was laying as well, then I would say OK, but the seat in front of him stood upright. His wasn't so tall either. Most of the trip, we were unable to use the middle seat. F sat on one side and I sat with A on the other side. Luckily, A fell asleep and she laid down on the 'out of order' middle seat. When she woke up couple hours later, she was totally active. Trust me, I didn't say a word to her when she was pushing and pulling the seat in front of her. The guy deserved it. Oh yes, when F was watching a film on the DVD player, it was right at the same level as the ear of our front neighbour. But honestly, we didn't have to do anything special for all these 'vengeance' actions. Its just the lack of space. If you respect the fellow passengers, you just take the others into account and do not lay your seat all the way down just because the seat can go so far!
8 hours, 2 films and 20 restroom visits later we arrived to USA. Passport control and customs and...Papa! The kids and I were very happy to see P and he was very happy to see us. We are back home!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Old friends
Just a quick note to say that I really enjoyed seeing you today Hesna and Deniz, friends from my childhood and thereafter. It was so nice to talk to you guys! It feels so familiar to sit and talk, although we see each other once a...year or even less.
Here is something we talked about tonight: I have been moving around the world for many years. People ask me if I don't miss my family - a regular question when you meet a foreigner I suppose. I always say 'of course'. But think about it: if I lived in Turkey, but in another city, I probably wouldn't see them more often. Now I see them more intensely. What I really miss is bumping into an old friend on the street, someone who knows me since I was 10 years old. I don't have any common history or culture with my new friends in my new homes.
Hope to meet you again next time we are over for vacation. Take care!!
Here is something we talked about tonight: I have been moving around the world for many years. People ask me if I don't miss my family - a regular question when you meet a foreigner I suppose. I always say 'of course'. But think about it: if I lived in Turkey, but in another city, I probably wouldn't see them more often. Now I see them more intensely. What I really miss is bumping into an old friend on the street, someone who knows me since I was 10 years old. I don't have any common history or culture with my new friends in my new homes.
Hope to meet you again next time we are over for vacation. Take care!!
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