Thursday, October 16, 2008
Somethings outside...
I hear either coyote or an owl outside. Not right outside, further. Winter is approaching and I remember the first days we were here; the raccoons and skunks, coyote taking down the deer. Just don't feel like it!
Cooking club
I don't know what I am doing but somehow I have little time to write. One of the things that I try to get going is a cooking club. No no, its not taking a lot of time or something, but I hope it will fill some mornings on those school days.
I got the idea when we were at a lecture at school. We started by telling something about ourselves, like a hobby. Couple of the mothers said they liked to cook. And I thought, mmm, every evening when we are having dinner, F looks at her plate and says 'Bah, this is not tasty'. So my idea was to ask those woman what their kids like to eat. When I told some of the mothers, they loved the idea. So we got together at Shelley's after drop off. She made a whole dinner ready for us to taste. She also had a delicious bread and muffins. 6-7 mothers showed up and we spent time talking to each other. It was so nice!
Couple days later, I baked the bread. P was about the only one to like it besides me.
The next meeting was by Ellie and she made it more like a get together, there were no recipes to be shared. It was very nice but wasn't what I meant at the 1st place.
Next Wednesday, I will be the host and I hope some people will show up. I know I will make something Turkish and I will post the results!
I got the idea when we were at a lecture at school. We started by telling something about ourselves, like a hobby. Couple of the mothers said they liked to cook. And I thought, mmm, every evening when we are having dinner, F looks at her plate and says 'Bah, this is not tasty'. So my idea was to ask those woman what their kids like to eat. When I told some of the mothers, they loved the idea. So we got together at Shelley's after drop off. She made a whole dinner ready for us to taste. She also had a delicious bread and muffins. 6-7 mothers showed up and we spent time talking to each other. It was so nice!
Couple days later, I baked the bread. P was about the only one to like it besides me.
The next meeting was by Ellie and she made it more like a get together, there were no recipes to be shared. It was very nice but wasn't what I meant at the 1st place.
Next Wednesday, I will be the host and I hope some people will show up. I know I will make something Turkish and I will post the results!
Breakthrough for A
The creative writing course has been taking a lot of time lately, I have been spending all my time writing a story. It will be read and discussed in class, so I try to do something I am happy with. I will put it in the blog when I am done with it. A lot of thing happened in the time since my last post. First the title of this post, it is important for us.
I was worried about the speaking abilities of A. F started speaking quite early and her teachers at the daycare and school always told us that she had a quite broad vocabulary for her age - sorry for showing off, I am just proud mom. A in the contrary is 2,5 years old and we have trouble understanding what she says. Especially her omitting of letter at the beginning r the end of the words and pronouncing a lot of letters the same way, makes it hard on every one of us. We don't understand her and she is pretty frustrated. She never said her sisters name right, one of the letters she cannot pronounce is the F. She uses P instead of it. Today at dinner - unfortunately P was not home -, just like it was the most normal thing, she said her sister's name, with an F. We looked with F to each other like we didn't hear it right. A repeated F's name without any trouble, like she always could do it but she was teasing us. P was pretty surprised too. I am just a bit sorry tat I didn't get her old version on video, it was just so cute and she won't say it anymore. My little pig-headed lady.
A's frustration
Now I can go back to almost two weeks ago when A's frustration was on its max. She was quite tired those days. F's party, meeting people, ma-pa grocery shopping till too late for kids.... I picked her up from school and in the car I asked her what she did at school. She said something I didn't understand, so I asked her what she said. She repeated exactly the same thing, she was trying to tell me. I just couldn't understand it. She got frustrated, she cried till home and then she kept on crying for the smallest things for the rest of the day. She couldn't sleep early, she was just too frustrated and tired for that. Next day, the same thing. She said things, I didn't get them and the frustration.... Third day, I got punished. She started talking baby. But really, we were back to tata's and dudu's. She wouldn't say a word. And she started talking more than usual, like in her pretend plays with the dolls - by the was she loves to play with dolls - she went on talking to herself, all in baby.
I was a bit worried. Just couple days before, she had her regular tests and I had said to the nurse the I was wondering why she is not talking good yet. Of course she is learning 3 languages at the same time, but still, she also pronounces the words in her own way. She sometimes omits the beginning and/or the end of words, as I wrote before; she doesn't pronounce a lot of letters correctly, P instead of F and the 'sheu' sounds she uses for half of the alphabet.... with her history of ear infections and everything, I was really wondering if she could hear well. So this baby talk thing worried me.
I left a message to her teacher, just to ask if she could tell me what she was doing at school. That way when I ask her about school, I could guess what she was saying. I had a very nice conversation with her teacher, who by the way is incredibly nice, and I found out that she was very interested in English these days. She would let Mrs Tate tell her the names of kitchen utensils, colors etc. That's why she was really tired at the end of her school day, it is not easy to listen to another language for hours. At he same time, I was telling her at home names of stuff in all three languages. I skipped the English versions right away and when she came from school I stopped asking her what she did but I asked her 'did you do cutting' or 'did you do painting', using the names of the activities as she was used to. Add to all this two nights of good and sound sleep, she was back to her happy self.
Even happier actually. She made clear to me that she wanted things as school, less toys, less choices, more independence - not that we could ever stop her from doing what she wants, did I call her pig-headed before???!! - I rearranged her room. he can take her clothes for school herself and she has just a limited amount of toys waiting for her. She now comes from school and plays hours with her dolls, really hours. It is so nice and so cute to see. The next step is her potty training. she is potty trained at school and mostly when we are outside our house. But home is the place we pee and poo right were we are. And we are never on the potty.
F is homesick
As A got out of her frustration, F got in hers. It started with her crying at one night. She was missing her friends (actually she said the names of her cousins) in Holland. Right after her b-day party, we thought this was expected. She was used to have family wit the b-day and she loved to see her cousins at our house, celebrating with her. Then the next day, she came from school and she said she was very mad at her teacher. She wanted to do some task and she was not allowed probably because she was 5. She was so angry she almost cried but she didn't let her teacher see that. She didn't like the work she did and there was no other work she liked either. She wanted to bake cookies and cut apples and carrots - yes, that's what they do at Montessori - but she probably wasn't allowed any more. I told her to ask her teacher why she wasn't allowed to do those works. F didn't know exactly but no one from 5 year old group did those things. I just told her to ask why she wasn't allowed. First lesson: communicate!
Another day, she came home again, so angry to her teacher. She had to do a work she didn't like and she had tears in her eyes - didn't show to her teacher again...
Night after night, we had conversations about Holland, missing people, the situation at school. It was very special. She is quite Papa's daughter but she wanted to share those things with me. And she really speaks like a grown up in such situations. I could feel her frustration but I decided to keep it low, not talk to her teacher right away etc.
For some other thing, her teacher called and left a message on the answering machine. At the end of her message, she added that F was doing very well at school and those days, she was pushing F a bit for her English and her reading. Aha! There it was, the reason for all that trouble. I told F to listen to the message and I translated her just in case she didn't understand everything. She looked happy and shy. My little big girl just didn't think she was going well enough. She said her friend Rowen was doing all those works better. Well, Rowen is almost 6 and goes to the Montessori school for much longer. The frustration just went away. We still have the 'missing Holland' part going on, but not as bad. Those little minds are just so sensitive.
Today, F said she was working on the letter W. Her teacher said to her 'the first one is the best'. F turns this around and concludes that her other W's are bad. I felt the frustration there and I told her that the first one was probably the best and the other ones just good. I was pretty proud of my little creativity. Oh, no, I think I have to be alert at all times for the right answers to keep my kids away from frustration.
I was worried about the speaking abilities of A. F started speaking quite early and her teachers at the daycare and school always told us that she had a quite broad vocabulary for her age - sorry for showing off, I am just proud mom. A in the contrary is 2,5 years old and we have trouble understanding what she says. Especially her omitting of letter at the beginning r the end of the words and pronouncing a lot of letters the same way, makes it hard on every one of us. We don't understand her and she is pretty frustrated. She never said her sisters name right, one of the letters she cannot pronounce is the F. She uses P instead of it. Today at dinner - unfortunately P was not home -, just like it was the most normal thing, she said her sister's name, with an F. We looked with F to each other like we didn't hear it right. A repeated F's name without any trouble, like she always could do it but she was teasing us. P was pretty surprised too. I am just a bit sorry tat I didn't get her old version on video, it was just so cute and she won't say it anymore. My little pig-headed lady.
A's frustration
Now I can go back to almost two weeks ago when A's frustration was on its max. She was quite tired those days. F's party, meeting people, ma-pa grocery shopping till too late for kids.... I picked her up from school and in the car I asked her what she did at school. She said something I didn't understand, so I asked her what she said. She repeated exactly the same thing, she was trying to tell me. I just couldn't understand it. She got frustrated, she cried till home and then she kept on crying for the smallest things for the rest of the day. She couldn't sleep early, she was just too frustrated and tired for that. Next day, the same thing. She said things, I didn't get them and the frustration.... Third day, I got punished. She started talking baby. But really, we were back to tata's and dudu's. She wouldn't say a word. And she started talking more than usual, like in her pretend plays with the dolls - by the was she loves to play with dolls - she went on talking to herself, all in baby.
I was a bit worried. Just couple days before, she had her regular tests and I had said to the nurse the I was wondering why she is not talking good yet. Of course she is learning 3 languages at the same time, but still, she also pronounces the words in her own way. She sometimes omits the beginning and/or the end of words, as I wrote before; she doesn't pronounce a lot of letters correctly, P instead of F and the 'sheu' sounds she uses for half of the alphabet.... with her history of ear infections and everything, I was really wondering if she could hear well. So this baby talk thing worried me.
I left a message to her teacher, just to ask if she could tell me what she was doing at school. That way when I ask her about school, I could guess what she was saying. I had a very nice conversation with her teacher, who by the way is incredibly nice, and I found out that she was very interested in English these days. She would let Mrs Tate tell her the names of kitchen utensils, colors etc. That's why she was really tired at the end of her school day, it is not easy to listen to another language for hours. At he same time, I was telling her at home names of stuff in all three languages. I skipped the English versions right away and when she came from school I stopped asking her what she did but I asked her 'did you do cutting' or 'did you do painting', using the names of the activities as she was used to. Add to all this two nights of good and sound sleep, she was back to her happy self.
Even happier actually. She made clear to me that she wanted things as school, less toys, less choices, more independence - not that we could ever stop her from doing what she wants, did I call her pig-headed before???!! - I rearranged her room. he can take her clothes for school herself and she has just a limited amount of toys waiting for her. She now comes from school and plays hours with her dolls, really hours. It is so nice and so cute to see. The next step is her potty training. she is potty trained at school and mostly when we are outside our house. But home is the place we pee and poo right were we are. And we are never on the potty.
F is homesick
As A got out of her frustration, F got in hers. It started with her crying at one night. She was missing her friends (actually she said the names of her cousins) in Holland. Right after her b-day party, we thought this was expected. She was used to have family wit the b-day and she loved to see her cousins at our house, celebrating with her. Then the next day, she came from school and she said she was very mad at her teacher. She wanted to do some task and she was not allowed probably because she was 5. She was so angry she almost cried but she didn't let her teacher see that. She didn't like the work she did and there was no other work she liked either. She wanted to bake cookies and cut apples and carrots - yes, that's what they do at Montessori - but she probably wasn't allowed any more. I told her to ask her teacher why she wasn't allowed to do those works. F didn't know exactly but no one from 5 year old group did those things. I just told her to ask why she wasn't allowed. First lesson: communicate!
Another day, she came home again, so angry to her teacher. She had to do a work she didn't like and she had tears in her eyes - didn't show to her teacher again...
Night after night, we had conversations about Holland, missing people, the situation at school. It was very special. She is quite Papa's daughter but she wanted to share those things with me. And she really speaks like a grown up in such situations. I could feel her frustration but I decided to keep it low, not talk to her teacher right away etc.
For some other thing, her teacher called and left a message on the answering machine. At the end of her message, she added that F was doing very well at school and those days, she was pushing F a bit for her English and her reading. Aha! There it was, the reason for all that trouble. I told F to listen to the message and I translated her just in case she didn't understand everything. She looked happy and shy. My little big girl just didn't think she was going well enough. She said her friend Rowen was doing all those works better. Well, Rowen is almost 6 and goes to the Montessori school for much longer. The frustration just went away. We still have the 'missing Holland' part going on, but not as bad. Those little minds are just so sensitive.
Today, F said she was working on the letter W. Her teacher said to her 'the first one is the best'. F turns this around and concludes that her other W's are bad. I felt the frustration there and I told her that the first one was probably the best and the other ones just good. I was pretty proud of my little creativity. Oh, no, I think I have to be alert at all times for the right answers to keep my kids away from frustration.
Monday, October 6, 2008
To Be Writer's Journal 4: Thirty six
36 is such a old fat ugly number. The three has the breasts so big as a room and the six has the big fat bottom. When I hear 36, I think of old fat and ugly. 36 apples is too many to eat, 36 degrees Celsius is too hot to breath, 36 kids are too many in a classroom, 36 plates are too many to wash, 36 years is too old to feel young.
Then my daughter comes to the room. She wants me to jump with her from the stairs. I say "Maybe it is not such a good idea for your old mama to jump". She laughs with the sincerity that only a child can have: "Mama, you are not old!".
36, young and wonderful!
Then my daughter comes to the room. She wants me to jump with her from the stairs. I say "Maybe it is not such a good idea for your old mama to jump". She laughs with the sincerity that only a child can have: "Mama, you are not old!".
36, young and wonderful!
Sunday, October 5, 2008
To Be Writer's Journal 3: Mouse in the house
I went downstairs to the basement. On the left hand corner, hidden behind a white door, is the storage room. It is a dark room with concrete floors and shelves on the walls. You can see the wood that supports the house and the isolation material stuffed along the walls.
I opened the door to the storage room and I heard it. I felt the fear stream in my body like a hot substance. I knew what it was, and I wasn't afraid of it; but somehow, I wasn't ready for the encounter. There it was, squeaking and scratching the concrete floor with its little nails: a mouse.
It was stuck to this old trap, a little box like thing with sticky tape in it. I don't exactly know how that thing is supposed to work, probably with some other poison or trap. The poor thing was trying to pull the - for him - too heavy box with little success. I could see the fear in its eyes, it was in real panic. I just wanted to leave the room, I didn't know what to do with it. Desperately trying not to hear or see it, I took the stuff I needed and left the room. I was hoping that it would be less scared if I was gone and somehow sit there and wait till I figured out what to do.
My husband is a bit more practical than me. He said right away "we should kill him with a shovel". I saw the picture of him cutting the head off with the sharp edge of the shovel, blood spattering all over the floor. I wiped the horrid image from my sight and said that it was not an option. My husband thought the animal was suffering from some kind of poison but I knew the only suffering it had was psychological. That duck tape was not going to kill the mouse.
That day, I didn't go back to the basement again. I had a BBQ party going on and afterwards I went out to have some drinks with a friend. It was after I came home and went to bed that I remembered there was a mouse in the basement. There was no way for me to go downstairs and look in the middle of the night. I think the basement is a creepy place even without a mouse in it. I tried to figure out how I could pick up the animal without being bitten or scratched and throw it outside, away from the house. I fell asleep dreaming about big gloves, rabies shots and squeaking mice.
Next morning, there was no mouse. It finally got escaped from the sticky tape and ran for its life. The question is, where did it go? I ideally think it went out of the house to meet its loving family and friends, and tells them all not ever, ever to come inside our house because of its dangers. I know that mice in real are far from being the little cute Tom and Gus from Cinderella and that they don't really care about me or their own family. They are dirty and can be dangerous for us.
Still I cherish life and I just cannot persuade myself to take a life of even a mouse, without trying to find another way to keep it alive and away from my loved ones. I know if I cannot find a solution, I will call the exterminator. Then beware mouse, leave my house or die!
I opened the door to the storage room and I heard it. I felt the fear stream in my body like a hot substance. I knew what it was, and I wasn't afraid of it; but somehow, I wasn't ready for the encounter. There it was, squeaking and scratching the concrete floor with its little nails: a mouse.
It was stuck to this old trap, a little box like thing with sticky tape in it. I don't exactly know how that thing is supposed to work, probably with some other poison or trap. The poor thing was trying to pull the - for him - too heavy box with little success. I could see the fear in its eyes, it was in real panic. I just wanted to leave the room, I didn't know what to do with it. Desperately trying not to hear or see it, I took the stuff I needed and left the room. I was hoping that it would be less scared if I was gone and somehow sit there and wait till I figured out what to do.
My husband is a bit more practical than me. He said right away "we should kill him with a shovel". I saw the picture of him cutting the head off with the sharp edge of the shovel, blood spattering all over the floor. I wiped the horrid image from my sight and said that it was not an option. My husband thought the animal was suffering from some kind of poison but I knew the only suffering it had was psychological. That duck tape was not going to kill the mouse.
That day, I didn't go back to the basement again. I had a BBQ party going on and afterwards I went out to have some drinks with a friend. It was after I came home and went to bed that I remembered there was a mouse in the basement. There was no way for me to go downstairs and look in the middle of the night. I think the basement is a creepy place even without a mouse in it. I tried to figure out how I could pick up the animal without being bitten or scratched and throw it outside, away from the house. I fell asleep dreaming about big gloves, rabies shots and squeaking mice.
Next morning, there was no mouse. It finally got escaped from the sticky tape and ran for its life. The question is, where did it go? I ideally think it went out of the house to meet its loving family and friends, and tells them all not ever, ever to come inside our house because of its dangers. I know that mice in real are far from being the little cute Tom and Gus from Cinderella and that they don't really care about me or their own family. They are dirty and can be dangerous for us.
Still I cherish life and I just cannot persuade myself to take a life of even a mouse, without trying to find another way to keep it alive and away from my loved ones. I know if I cannot find a solution, I will call the exterminator. Then beware mouse, leave my house or die!
2 goals and a kick
Before I forget, I have to write this. Last Friday, F had her soccer training and in the 2 against 2 game, she scored - yes she SCORED - two goals!!! In the Saturday game, she first didn't know which goal theirs was, but she did kick the ball. The trainer, in his excitement, said that over six months, we will be surprised how good she plays. Good job girl!
F's B-day party
2 weeks after her b-day, we finally celebrated F's b-day. She turned 5, unbelievable. Such a big girl.
Summer is definitely over here. We turned the heating on, the night temperatures are just above zero and the sun is loosing its strength. The backyard is full with dead leaves. We called our party 'Good Bye Summer BBQ', hoping it to be one of the last warm days of the year. When we decided over the date, it was still quite warm outside. I just couldn't imagine that the fall would arrive so soon. We planned everything to be outside, so I was checking the forecast everyday. No, this is not going to be the '....and it rained the whole time' story, we were lucky. Yesterday (Saturday) was a lovely day. Cold but sunny, and without the wind, sun warmed us up.
At three o'clock, the first visitors came. One after other, everybody arrived. People from kids' school, neighbors and P's colleagues. We had over 40 people and half of it were children. The kids were playing so nice in the yard. We all had a very nice time chatting, drinking, eating.... Around 6:30 it started getting quite cold, the sun was already on the wrong side of the trees. 7 p.m., as we said in the invitation, the last people left. A little different than our Dutch parties where we end up sitting till 2 a.m. and realize we can never finish the booze, but this was a real kids party. Both girls had a great time and just before the end F realized her best friend from school, Rowen, never showed up. With all the tiredness and everything, she started crying. That was her goodbye to most of her guests. Well, then you know it is time to finish the party.
Early next morning - before 8a.m. on a Sunday -, I had a call from Rowen's mother. She couldn't sleep the whole night. She and her husband had a party down at Chicago and she was supposed to bring Rowen to us and she forgot. I could tell she really felt bad. She was sad that F had to cry and miss her best friend on her b-day party. Her husband had to persuade her to not to call us last night at 1a.m.
Just half an hour ago, F started crying in bed, she wasn't sleeping yet. She was so upset. She said she misses her friends in Holland. She was actually meaning her cousins. This is the first time she says she misses them. But I think she also understands that she met all those new people in the last months and so many of them are also special for her. We talked about how we miss people, but we also meet new people and the ones we knew before, especially family, stays with us no matter how far they are. It is nice to have such a grown up conversation with F. She really understands what I mean - yeah of course, she is no baby, she is 5 years old!
Summer is definitely over here. We turned the heating on, the night temperatures are just above zero and the sun is loosing its strength. The backyard is full with dead leaves. We called our party 'Good Bye Summer BBQ', hoping it to be one of the last warm days of the year. When we decided over the date, it was still quite warm outside. I just couldn't imagine that the fall would arrive so soon. We planned everything to be outside, so I was checking the forecast everyday. No, this is not going to be the '....and it rained the whole time' story, we were lucky. Yesterday (Saturday) was a lovely day. Cold but sunny, and without the wind, sun warmed us up.
At three o'clock, the first visitors came. One after other, everybody arrived. People from kids' school, neighbors and P's colleagues. We had over 40 people and half of it were children. The kids were playing so nice in the yard. We all had a very nice time chatting, drinking, eating.... Around 6:30 it started getting quite cold, the sun was already on the wrong side of the trees. 7 p.m., as we said in the invitation, the last people left. A little different than our Dutch parties where we end up sitting till 2 a.m. and realize we can never finish the booze, but this was a real kids party. Both girls had a great time and just before the end F realized her best friend from school, Rowen, never showed up. With all the tiredness and everything, she started crying. That was her goodbye to most of her guests. Well, then you know it is time to finish the party.
Early next morning - before 8a.m. on a Sunday -, I had a call from Rowen's mother. She couldn't sleep the whole night. She and her husband had a party down at Chicago and she was supposed to bring Rowen to us and she forgot. I could tell she really felt bad. She was sad that F had to cry and miss her best friend on her b-day party. Her husband had to persuade her to not to call us last night at 1a.m.
Just half an hour ago, F started crying in bed, she wasn't sleeping yet. She was so upset. She said she misses her friends in Holland. She was actually meaning her cousins. This is the first time she says she misses them. But I think she also understands that she met all those new people in the last months and so many of them are also special for her. We talked about how we miss people, but we also meet new people and the ones we knew before, especially family, stays with us no matter how far they are. It is nice to have such a grown up conversation with F. She really understands what I mean - yeah of course, she is no baby, she is 5 years old!
Thursday, October 2, 2008
What am I doing instead of writing
I should be writing more for my course but somehow I just cannot get myself behind my computer. My head is full with ideas, sentences, dialogs; but they stay there, don't have the chance to reach the paper. I rather take A to picnic with Sonja and Peri, bring F to Rowen and stay there to chitchat with Brooke. The preparations for the BBQ on Saturday takes a lot of time.
Just before I go to sleep, I get all those ideas I put on a post-it. I write it in the dark so that I don't wake up P. I am still looking for the perfect opening sentence for one of my stories. Maybe I shouldn't be so dramatic about it. It is becoming an excuse not to write further. I just feel I don't have the time but I don't try hard to make some time! I miss the energy of the summer.
Just before I go to sleep, I get all those ideas I put on a post-it. I write it in the dark so that I don't wake up P. I am still looking for the perfect opening sentence for one of my stories. Maybe I shouldn't be so dramatic about it. It is becoming an excuse not to write further. I just feel I don't have the time but I don't try hard to make some time! I miss the energy of the summer.
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