Sinterklaas

Sinterklaas comes on a steamboat to Holland 4 weeks prior to December 5. Or did he come first to Spain and spend the 4 weeks to travel to Holland? Hey, I am not the real Dutch here, give me a break. Somehow Sinterklaas managed to stop in USA, at our house on December 7. It's a very good track record if you think about the four weeks from Spain to the Netherlands.

Sinterklaas is the Dutch Santa and in Holland the presents are giving on December 5th, so no presents for Christmas.

Our Dutch friends came to our place for the celebration with their 3 kids, 8, 5(she came a little late, she had a b-day party first) and 2 year old. The kids got to play right away, running around in the living room and the basement, making noise - no, not complaining at all, they were so cute. Then we sat to eat early. Sint was supposed to come 10 to 7. Our neighbor, Gordon, who accepted to be our Sint was supposed to leave for a black tie party at 7. I left the presents in the bags and the little Dutch cookies our friends got from Holland - he works between USA and Holland, so he is back quite often - in the garage. Of course I forgot to leave the garage door open and Sint had to give us a call first, uups! Finally, he arrived. He knocked on the door very hard, threw the cookies inside the house - Dutch tradition, yes we ate the cookies that were laying on the floor at the end! He left he bags full of presents. All 5 kids believe in Sint. When our Sint was gone, we all went to the foyer to see what happened. The kids started speculating how the presents and the cookies came inside - through the chimney of course. Well, we don't have a fireplace, but we sure have a chimney! They started yelling to ceiling 'thank you Sint'.

After that part of the excitement, the presents' excitement started. It was the classic 'rip the paper' act. I have to say that the kids got nice presents, and not too many. Proud of the parents here!! F got finally her trumpet. It's plastic but looks real and makes nice sounds. A got a chair for her dolls, she loves playing with dolls these days. The kids of the friends got nice stuff too. After a bit playing, the kids were tired so the party ended not too late. Jorgen had a taxi coming to pick him up at 4 am, so I think he was happy to leave.

Thanks Gordon, thanks Sint. It was very nice!

We met Mickey!

Before my mother left, at the Thanksgiving vacation, we went to Los Angeles. We left Illinois as the first snow was falling down - falling down almost as a storm. After getting our plane treated against freezing - good to know for someone who is not very fond of flying - we had a nice trip to LA. We got our car at the rental place and drove to my cousin's house in Orange. We did arrive exhausted after getting up around 4 am and travelling the rest of the day, but we were happy and excited. My cousin lives in a nice house up on a hill with beautiful views. I saw her last time in 1987, at her wedding. Now her sons are like 17 and 19.

From their house, they can see the fireworks at Disneyland. We spent the first day not doing too much. The second day, we went to Disneyland. We arrived early in the morning and saw quite some attractions, all appropriate for the girls. Princesses, princesses and princesses. They had -and we had - such a good time. My mother went on walking the whole day and didn't say a word about it. Late at night, just before the fireworks, it started raining. We were soooo done anyway, so we went home. The last thing we saw was Mickey. We went to this very secret place, through hallways and doors and we could make pictures with Mickey. A was a bit scared of him, but I think we made nice pictures. We almost thought about coming back later with P to see the more grown-up attractions, but we were exhausted. Too bad for all the Halloween stuff. It looked interesting but we just couldn't go on anymore.

The next day, we went to visit LA. What a disappointment. We first went to see the stars, the Hollywood Boulevard. We actually passed it twice before we realized that we were there already. It looked poor, no glamour at all. We looked at the stars, ate something, and decided to see the Hollywood sign. At least that should be something, right. Well, the way to the sign was not so easy to spot. We decided to look for Mulholland Drive. We had seen a movie with that name and the street was supposed to lead to the Hollywood sign. We got quite close to it, but didn't manage to stand beside it.

Our own Beverly Hills tour was also not so very successful. We drove around in the nice looking neighborhoods. There surely was more glamour. We didn't run into any celebrity. Probably they didn't know we were there -shame on them - and they didn't enjoy the rainy weather.

Our third day was a road trip to the beaches. Oh, well, I cannot complain about that. We had the weather on our side and we saw beautiful beaches. They were all long white sandy beaches at small cosy towns with little shops and restaurants. The houses at the seaside, sometimes at a bluff, were like a piece of heaven. the kids enjoyed the beaches more than LA. That evening, we had a nice Thanksgiving dinner that my cousin had prepared.

After this beautiful trip, we went home to face the snow. It was like living the summer behind!

After the trip, we waved my mother good-bye. We did manage to go to the Sears Tower together and walked around in Chicago. It was snowing and got quite cold, so we had to keep it short. I think she had a glimpse of the city.

The real Americans

We joined the club. Literally we did. It is not told rule, if you live in the states, you have to join the club - The Sports Club! Yesterday, after putting the kids in bed and leaving them with my mother, we went to sport. We are members since the opening two months ago of this new him a tour and showed him how the exercise machines are working. We did some running and some muscle training. The ones who know P can probably picture him lifting too much weight and doing way too many exercises than he should because he thinks its funny and he is absolutely not serious about it. But I warned him, no whining, no complaining about hurting muscles, I will show no pity!

The club is beautiful. It has a whole floor of exercise machines, a swimming pool, sauna, whirlpool etc, a beauty saloon, climbing wall, squash courts and basketball - indoor soccer fields. After leaving P with his puffing by the machines, I found him back at the soccer field. There was a couple of kids playing and he joined the team while I decided to relax in a whirlpool - hehe! Half hour later, I had to pick up my big baby, who had a totally red face and wet wet wet with sweat, smiling because he got to 'play' with other kids!

We came to a peaceful home and I ate couple pieces of dark chocolate - it's good for you - and P had some -not diet- ice tea. In America, that's how it's supposed to be!

Teeht

We had another dentist appointment today, F has problem teeth - mother's daughter. She already had a root canal, two fillings and one more is scheduled. She is 5 and it's all about the baby teeth! We are being quite careful with brushing and what she eats and drinks, I don't want her permanent teeth to get bad. Today I got the news that we should be even more careful. She already has a molar in her mouth, more is coming and 2 of her teeth are loose. The evening before, I thought I had seen something but I just didn't want to believe it. Such a big girl.

Last bits of summer

The last 3 days were amazing! The temperature was around 18- 20 C. We walked around in t-shirts. The first day I picked up A from school and I just wanted to be outside. We went in the nature preserve next to our neighborhood for a picnic. I knew there was a bench just at the end of the forest. We biked there and had our sandwiches and cookies there. It was beautiful and I could see how A was enjoying it. Monday is my creative writing course day, so I couldn't do much with F after her pick-up. We picked-up another girl, Salma from school as her mother was to the city and her train arrived just 10 minutes too late. We walked together to the station and then went to the park for a short while. That was F's share.

Next day, we went for a picnic again with A. Our bench was taken, so we went a bit further. I knew we would end up by a playground which I was trying to avoid, but it went OK. We had our lunch, A played a while and we left without any arguments. On the way back, we ran into Kim who was walking her dog. We walked together and finally had the chance to catch up. I took F and Rowan to the park after 2.30 and of course half of their class and their mothers were at the same place. I think we stayed there till 5 p.m., left when Brooke finally managed to convince her kids to go home. I was exhausted! Hardly managed to see the speach of the new president Obama.

Today, I finally got the chance to pickup A on the bike. Today is supposed to be the last warm day, snow is expected in the week-end. The wind was quite strong, it was tiring to bike. I picked up A and she said she wanted to go for a picnic. Well, we did that too. After 1,5 hours of biking, I am exhausted, but happy. These were unexpected, beautiful days in November in Chicago. Ironically, P who is in Miami since Friday, had only rain...

Mouse stories - with a little bit of raccoon

Since my mother already went to sleep to wake in the middle of the night due to a jet lag, and the kids are in bed as well - although I can here A, I can use the time to tell about the mouse in the house.

It started couple weeks ago, I saw a dead baby mouse in the middle of the storage. The next day we found another dead baby mouse under the shelves. Then there is the story of the mouse that escaped (see posting Sunday October 5th). I finally got the exterminator, the same company that was here right before we moved in - I had seen a dead mouse next to the sump pump.

One morning the exterminator came. I just picked up A from school. I went with him to the basement, told the story and he started looking around. He said that he indeed saw traces of mouse and told me that he'll be upstairs in 20 minutes or something. I got the feeling that he didn't want to have me there, but of course I was curious. I said I would stay, I just wanted to see what he was doing. He said it was my house, I could be where ever I want. i was asking questions and I think he realized that I wasn't trying to control his work but I was truly interested. He started telling me all about this mouse business. He showed me where the holes were, what kind of places they would like, when they come inside and when they are active (between 5 p.m. and 5 a.m.) and all kinds of interesting stuff.

Whenever I turned to see another mouse hole, A was asking me 'where is the mouse'. The only mouse she knows is Mickey Mouse and I shouldn't forget the mouse from Cinderella. Of course we didn't see one running around so my daughter is not disillusioned.

The guy showed me all kinds of places in the garage where the mouse can find a hole to get into the house. Of course the deck is the biggest problem, we cannot see what for holes are underneath, there is no opening or shutter. He placed poison good for 80+ mouse and headed to his car.

As I said, he seemed kind of happy to talk to someone with genuine interest, he stopped a second to chat. He was a policeman before he started with the exterminator company. He was working at the emergency of a hospital, looking to the cases that needed police attention. Once they brought a man who was getting scrap metal out of garbage containers and selling them for living. Scrap metal guy jumped in a container and came face to face with a raccoon - don't I love the raccoon -. No coincidence, I had already told him our other animal encounters. The raccoon attacked him, scratched his whole face. In panic, he climbed out of the container and got out, but somehow managed to hit his head to something while he was jumping and passed out. The raccoon got him again while he was unconscious. When they brought him to the hospital, well you can imagine that he looked horrible. See, I knew it, those raccoon are bad!

I expect the exterminator this week, I hope he can find the hole, before the mouse finds a way to come upstairs and scare the h... out of my mother and give me a lot of worries about my girls!

My mother arrived!

For the ones who are waiting for some news, my mother arrived today and she had a nice trip. She saw most of the house and actually stood on the basement trap and looked around. She is extremely scared of mouses and yes we have them somewhere in the basement. I hired a company who is supposed to take care of them, only it takes a while. The problem is, they probably come from some place under the deck and the walls are finished. We cannot look under the deck and break all the walls, so I wonder how we will find the hole which they use to come inside the house. I'll come back to this probably.

At the airport, F was so excited, she was jumping around when she was Anneanne (grandma in Turkish). We were waiting for more than an hour. A was unfortunately sleeping. When she woke up in the car, she had this big smile. F is really trying to speak Turkish. I am expecting their Turkish to improve while my mother is here. My mother brought nice presents for them, no no-sense toys, so we are still good with our Montessori life. The kids showed their best at the dinner, setting the table, cleaning up, F helping A with stuff...

My mother went to sleep around 8.3 p.m. and I think she will be totally awake around 4 a.m. but I warned her. I'll continue with my mother's USA adventures in the coming days.

President of The USA

It is 10 pm and I was actually about to go to bed. But I couldn't stop myself from setting the computer on. Obama is just announced as the next President of the USA. He was senator from Illinois, so they have a big party in Grant Park in Chicago. He will make an appearance there. I don't remember how the elections were celebrated in the Netherlands or Turkey, but here people are gathered all over the country to celebrate in churches, parks, etc. in real organized parties for citizens. Grand Park is packed with people, the camera is focusing on a man (50-60 years), African-American, crying. Not the first tears I saw in the last 10 minutes on the screen.

McCain is talking in Arizona to his supporters, one of his best performances from the ones I heard till now.

Very tired and still waiting for the Obama speech. I think I will turn off the computer and head to bed right after it....

###

OK, still online... Obama is on TV. Lots and lots o f tears on the screen.

....He's saying that his two kids are getting a puppy when they go to the White House.... Back to serious business, the guy has a charisma and a charm. I'm glad Bush is gone and let's wait and see.... Good night.

Sucked by the black hole

What are the odds of ending in the same hospital as P with similar symptoms two months after his operation? Sunday October 26, I had to spend the night at the black hole hospital or otherwise known as the pretend hospital. I had the deja vue of P??!!

Beginning of the afternoon, right after I came home from my grocery shopping - I do it alone as P and the kids are at the church - my tachycardia started. I have it once a year, since I am +/- 12. 1st time was scary but know I am veteran, I know this thing doesn't kill me. I usually sit or lay down and wait for it to go away.

P was trying to set up a video call w/ Jannet, so I silently laid down, trying to stay out of the conversation. P was having some trouble ' we hear you, do you hear us? yes. uuups, connection lost...'. I even tried to help to solve the connection problems and waved to the webcam as I suddenly appeared on the screen.

P started to walk in the room , with the computer in his hand. A tour of the house. In the meanwhile, I started to feel a little discomfort in my chest and shoulder muscles. When P was done w/ the 1st floor and headed to the 2nd, he asked 'are you OK?'. I said 'not really' and of course man cannot do 2 things at a time, he was holding the computer, so he couldn't understand what I said and ... he was gone to the 2nd. I could hear him telling about the rooms as the pain increased. I tried to call P, but couldn't manage. After couple attempts, I realized his 2 syllable name was impossible to call under the circumstances, so I called for help. Finally P came down running and got the picture.

What could we do? We had to go to the black hole. There were not many options. In the Netherlands, I would go to a hospital, they would give me some medication through the blood, and after 2-3 hours, I would go home. I knew they would keep me there. What if I died that night because I choked on my food? P could sue them and even win the case!

At the emergency care, we had doctors around me. Of course my heart beat was between 200-220, so they were worried - not me. I said I felt chest pain, probably caused by my heart and chest muscles. But of course they said I should spend the night there.

At the emergency room, a guy came. He started telling us about the possible operations I could have and we told him that we were aware of everything because of P's recent operation. So we told him how that went and the guy ended up just giving us a brochure. That conversation costed 400-500 dollars to our insurance. The American health care system.

What a night after at the hospital. Every so many hours checks - for me or my neighbor. No wonder people get so tired in the hospitals, they never give you a moment to rest. In the morning, the doctor didn't come for a long time, so the checkout was somewhere at the beginning of the afternoon. They really did little checks on me, they knew already that I was OK. I was just sucked by the black hole!

Somethings outside...

I hear either coyote or an owl outside. Not right outside, further. Winter is approaching and I remember the first days we were here; the raccoons and skunks, coyote taking down the deer. Just don't feel like it!

Cooking club

I don't know what I am doing but somehow I have little time to write. One of the things that I try to get going is a cooking club. No no, its not taking a lot of time or something, but I hope it will fill some mornings on those school days.

I got the idea when we were at a lecture at school. We started by telling something about ourselves, like a hobby. Couple of the mothers said they liked to cook. And I thought, mmm, every evening when we are having dinner, F looks at her plate and says 'Bah, this is not tasty'. So my idea was to ask those woman what their kids like to eat. When I told some of the mothers, they loved the idea. So we got together at Shelley's after drop off. She made a whole dinner ready for us to taste. She also had a delicious bread and muffins. 6-7 mothers showed up and we spent time talking to each other. It was so nice!

Couple days later, I baked the bread. P was about the only one to like it besides me.

The next meeting was by Ellie and she made it more like a get together, there were no recipes to be shared. It was very nice but wasn't what I meant at the 1st place.

Next Wednesday, I will be the host and I hope some people will show up. I know I will make something Turkish and I will post the results!

Breakthrough for A

The creative writing course has been taking a lot of time lately, I have been spending all my time writing a story. It will be read and discussed in class, so I try to do something I am happy with. I will put it in the blog when I am done with it. A lot of thing happened in the time since my last post. First the title of this post, it is important for us.

I was worried about the speaking abilities of A. F started speaking quite early and her teachers at the daycare and school always told us that she had a quite broad vocabulary for her age - sorry for showing off, I am just proud mom. A in the contrary is 2,5 years old and we have trouble understanding what she says. Especially her omitting of letter at the beginning r the end of the words and pronouncing a lot of letters the same way, makes it hard on every one of us. We don't understand her and she is pretty frustrated. She never said her sisters name right, one of the letters she cannot pronounce is the F. She uses P instead of it. Today at dinner - unfortunately P was not home -, just like it was the most normal thing, she said her sister's name, with an F. We looked with F to each other like we didn't hear it right. A repeated F's name without any trouble, like she always could do it but she was teasing us. P was pretty surprised too. I am just a bit sorry tat I didn't get her old version on video, it was just so cute and she won't say it anymore. My little pig-headed lady.

A's frustration

Now I can go back to almost two weeks ago when A's frustration was on its max. She was quite tired those days. F's party, meeting people, ma-pa grocery shopping till too late for kids.... I picked her up from school and in the car I asked her what she did at school. She said something I didn't understand, so I asked her what she said. She repeated exactly the same thing, she was trying to tell me. I just couldn't understand it. She got frustrated, she cried till home and then she kept on crying for the smallest things for the rest of the day. She couldn't sleep early, she was just too frustrated and tired for that. Next day, the same thing. She said things, I didn't get them and the frustration.... Third day, I got punished. She started talking baby. But really, we were back to tata's and dudu's. She wouldn't say a word. And she started talking more than usual, like in her pretend plays with the dolls - by the was she loves to play with dolls - she went on talking to herself, all in baby.

I was a bit worried. Just couple days before, she had her regular tests and I had said to the nurse the I was wondering why she is not talking good yet. Of course she is learning 3 languages at the same time, but still, she also pronounces the words in her own way. She sometimes omits the beginning and/or the end of words, as I wrote before; she doesn't pronounce a lot of letters correctly, P instead of F and the 'sheu' sounds she uses for half of the alphabet.... with her history of ear infections and everything, I was really wondering if she could hear well. So this baby talk thing worried me.

I left a message to her teacher, just to ask if she could tell me what she was doing at school. That way when I ask her about school, I could guess what she was saying. I had a very nice conversation with her teacher, who by the way is incredibly nice, and I found out that she was very interested in English these days. She would let Mrs Tate tell her the names of kitchen utensils, colors etc. That's why she was really tired at the end of her school day, it is not easy to listen to another language for hours. At he same time, I was telling her at home names of stuff in all three languages. I skipped the English versions right away and when she came from school I stopped asking her what she did but I asked her 'did you do cutting' or 'did you do painting', using the names of the activities as she was used to. Add to all this two nights of good and sound sleep, she was back to her happy self.

Even happier actually. She made clear to me that she wanted things as school, less toys, less choices, more independence - not that we could ever stop her from doing what she wants, did I call her pig-headed before???!! - I rearranged her room. he can take her clothes for school herself and she has just a limited amount of toys waiting for her. She now comes from school and plays hours with her dolls, really hours. It is so nice and so cute to see. The next step is her potty training. she is potty trained at school and mostly when we are outside our house. But home is the place we pee and poo right were we are. And we are never on the potty.

F is homesick

As A got out of her frustration, F got in hers. It started with her crying at one night. She was missing her friends (actually she said the names of her cousins) in Holland. Right after her b-day party, we thought this was expected. She was used to have family wit the b-day and she loved to see her cousins at our house, celebrating with her. Then the next day, she came from school and she said she was very mad at her teacher. She wanted to do some task and she was not allowed probably because she was 5. She was so angry she almost cried but she didn't let her teacher see that. She didn't like the work she did and there was no other work she liked either. She wanted to bake cookies and cut apples and carrots - yes, that's what they do at Montessori - but she probably wasn't allowed any more. I told her to ask her teacher why she wasn't allowed to do those works. F didn't know exactly but no one from 5 year old group did those things. I just told her to ask why she wasn't allowed. First lesson: communicate!

Another day, she came home again, so angry to her teacher. She had to do a work she didn't like and she had tears in her eyes - didn't show to her teacher again...

Night after night, we had conversations about Holland, missing people, the situation at school. It was very special. She is quite Papa's daughter but she wanted to share those things with me. And she really speaks like a grown up in such situations. I could feel her frustration but I decided to keep it low, not talk to her teacher right away etc.

For some other thing, her teacher called and left a message on the answering machine. At the end of her message, she added that F was doing very well at school and those days, she was pushing F a bit for her English and her reading. Aha! There it was, the reason for all that trouble. I told F to listen to the message and I translated her just in case she didn't understand everything. She looked happy and shy. My little big girl just didn't think she was going well enough. She said her friend Rowen was doing all those works better. Well, Rowen is almost 6 and goes to the Montessori school for much longer. The frustration just went away. We still have the 'missing Holland' part going on, but not as bad. Those little minds are just so sensitive.

Today, F said she was working on the letter W. Her teacher said to her 'the first one is the best'. F turns this around and concludes that her other W's are bad. I felt the frustration there and I told her that the first one was probably the best and the other ones just good. I was pretty proud of my little creativity. Oh, no, I think I have to be alert at all times for the right answers to keep my kids away from frustration.

To Be Writer's Journal 4: Thirty six

36 is such a old fat ugly number. The three has the breasts so big as a room and the six has the big fat bottom. When I hear 36, I think of old fat and ugly. 36 apples is too many to eat, 36 degrees Celsius is too hot to breath, 36 kids are too many in a classroom, 36 plates are too many to wash, 36 years is too old to feel young.

Then my daughter comes to the room. She wants me to jump with her from the stairs. I say "Maybe it is not such a good idea for your old mama to jump". She laughs with the sincerity that only a child can have: "Mama, you are not old!".

36, young and wonderful!

To Be Writer's Journal 3: Mouse in the house

I went downstairs to the basement. On the left hand corner, hidden behind a white door, is the storage room. It is a dark room with concrete floors and shelves on the walls. You can see the wood that supports the house and the isolation material stuffed along the walls.

I opened the door to the storage room and I heard it. I felt the fear stream in my body like a hot substance. I knew what it was, and I wasn't afraid of it; but somehow, I wasn't ready for the encounter. There it was, squeaking and scratching the concrete floor with its little nails: a mouse.

It was stuck to this old trap, a little box like thing with sticky tape in it. I don't exactly know how that thing is supposed to work, probably with some other poison or trap. The poor thing was trying to pull the - for him - too heavy box with little success. I could see the fear in its eyes, it was in real panic. I just wanted to leave the room, I didn't know what to do with it. Desperately trying not to hear or see it, I took the stuff I needed and left the room. I was hoping that it would be less scared if I was gone and somehow sit there and wait till I figured out what to do.

My husband is a bit more practical than me. He said right away "we should kill him with a shovel". I saw the picture of him cutting the head off with the sharp edge of the shovel, blood spattering all over the floor. I wiped the horrid image from my sight and said that it was not an option. My husband thought the animal was suffering from some kind of poison but I knew the only suffering it had was psychological. That duck tape was not going to kill the mouse.

That day, I didn't go back to the basement again. I had a BBQ party going on and afterwards I went out to have some drinks with a friend. It was after I came home and went to bed that I remembered there was a mouse in the basement. There was no way for me to go downstairs and look in the middle of the night. I think the basement is a creepy place even without a mouse in it. I tried to figure out how I could pick up the animal without being bitten or scratched and throw it outside, away from the house. I fell asleep dreaming about big gloves, rabies shots and squeaking mice.

Next morning, there was no mouse. It finally got escaped from the sticky tape and ran for its life. The question is, where did it go? I ideally think it went out of the house to meet its loving family and friends, and tells them all not ever, ever to come inside our house because of its dangers. I know that mice in real are far from being the little cute Tom and Gus from Cinderella and that they don't really care about me or their own family. They are dirty and can be dangerous for us.

Still I cherish life and I just cannot persuade myself to take a life of even a mouse, without trying to find another way to keep it alive and away from my loved ones. I know if I cannot find a solution, I will call the exterminator. Then beware mouse, leave my house or die!

2 goals and a kick

Before I forget, I have to write this. Last Friday, F had her soccer training and in the 2 against 2 game, she scored - yes she SCORED - two goals!!! In the Saturday game, she first didn't know which goal theirs was, but she did kick the ball. The trainer, in his excitement, said that over six months, we will be surprised how good she plays. Good job girl!

F's B-day party

2 weeks after her b-day, we finally celebrated F's b-day. She turned 5, unbelievable. Such a big girl.

Summer is definitely over here. We turned the heating on, the night temperatures are just above zero and the sun is loosing its strength. The backyard is full with dead leaves. We called our party 'Good Bye Summer BBQ', hoping it to be one of the last warm days of the year. When we decided over the date, it was still quite warm outside. I just couldn't imagine that the fall would arrive so soon. We planned everything to be outside, so I was checking the forecast everyday. No, this is not going to be the '....and it rained the whole time' story, we were lucky. Yesterday (Saturday) was a lovely day. Cold but sunny, and without the wind, sun warmed us up.

At three o'clock, the first visitors came. One after other, everybody arrived. People from kids' school, neighbors and P's colleagues. We had over 40 people and half of it were children. The kids were playing so nice in the yard. We all had a very nice time chatting, drinking, eating.... Around 6:30 it started getting quite cold, the sun was already on the wrong side of the trees. 7 p.m., as we said in the invitation, the last people left. A little different than our Dutch parties where we end up sitting till 2 a.m. and realize we can never finish the booze, but this was a real kids party. Both girls had a great time and just before the end F realized her best friend from school, Rowen, never showed up. With all the tiredness and everything, she started crying. That was her goodbye to most of her guests. Well, then you know it is time to finish the party.

Early next morning - before 8a.m. on a Sunday -, I had a call from Rowen's mother. She couldn't sleep the whole night. She and her husband had a party down at Chicago and she was supposed to bring Rowen to us and she forgot. I could tell she really felt bad. She was sad that F had to cry and miss her best friend on her b-day party. Her husband had to persuade her to not to call us last night at 1a.m.

Just half an hour ago, F started crying in bed, she wasn't sleeping yet. She was so upset. She said she misses her friends in Holland. She was actually meaning her cousins. This is the first time she says she misses them. But I think she also understands that she met all those new people in the last months and so many of them are also special for her. We talked about how we miss people, but we also meet new people and the ones we knew before, especially family, stays with us no matter how far they are. It is nice to have such a grown up conversation with F. She really understands what I mean - yeah of course, she is no baby, she is 5 years old!

What am I doing instead of writing

I should be writing more for my course but somehow I just cannot get myself behind my computer. My head is full with ideas, sentences, dialogs; but they stay there, don't have the chance to reach the paper. I rather take A to picnic with Sonja and Peri, bring F to Rowen and stay there to chitchat with Brooke. The preparations for the BBQ on Saturday takes a lot of time.

Just before I go to sleep, I get all those ideas I put on a post-it. I write it in the dark so that I don't wake up P. I am still looking for the perfect opening sentence for one of my stories. Maybe I shouldn't be so dramatic about it. It is becoming an excuse not to write further. I just feel I don't have the time but I don't try hard to make some time! I miss the energy of the summer.

More soccer from F, without touching the ball!

F has her own way of playing soccer. She just runs with the other kids, looks to the other side if the ball comes close to her and does anything to avoid the ball touching her. Yes we had another practice and game last week.

After the practice, P and the coach started playing soccer. We were gonna drive little neighbor boy home, so he was with us too. He started playing with the big boys. F joined them at last. The trainer was impressed with the difference in F at the training and F after the training. She was really playing soccer, running hard after the ball, shooting and not shy.

The next day, the coach Can thought we had a break through, F would play as she is supposed to. She went to the field to meet the other kids and I saw her head bending to one side. When I see that I know it, she is getting shy and she doesn't know what to do. How can we explain the game to her, how can we make sure that she understands that:

• she has a team,
• there is a ball,
• when your team has the ball, try to score,
• when the other team has the ball, try to get it back.

We were trying to encourage her from the sideline, telling to run to the ball, to do her best etc. We kind of got frustrated at a certain moment, Can looked desperate. Then the game was over and F came to us. She actually had the idea that she did well. At that moment, the only thing I could do is to give a big hug while thinking 'what can I do to make her understand the game?!'. Next Friday is the next training. Good luck to all of us!

To Be Writers Journal 2 - Paul Newman died

Last Friday, Paul Newman died. He was 83 years old.

When I picked up the Sunday newspaper, his picture was on the front page. He looked old and still good. I don't know much about him, probably because he is from another generation and I do not especially follow actors' lives. I did watch some of his movies, though. I remember seeing 'the Sting' - one of my father's favorites, but Robert Redford is the one that I remember better. In 'the color of money', Tom Cruise was the one - I was a teenager.

Paul Newman's picture on the front page kept on getting in my sight, and finally I could not refuse to read the article. He was not the regular super star. He had a modest lifestyle, lived in Connecticut instead of Hollywood, was married to his wife for 50 years and he used his fortune and fame for charity. It sounds like a good 83 years he had, I hope it for him.

I look at the picture again. An 83 year old dead man. Why does his picture stays in my head, why am I fascinated with the article? I just try to refuse writing what I am actually thinking in the last three paragraphs. He makes me think of my father. It is not the fact that they both have those striking blue eyes; it is something different. It is the old face surrounding the eyes, it is the fact that my father is getting old too. And he is so far away, that I can go and see him just once a year; and every time I am there, I realize he got even older. Paul Newman is now dead...

I look at Paul Newman again, thinking about the time I was still living home. My father would get a childish sparkle in his eyes whenever one of his favorite movies was on TV for the first time. He would look at our reaction through out the show. He would get this triumphant smile at the end: 'you see, I knew you would like it!'. Funny how your parents seems so old when you are a child. When I think of those days, I realize that my father was then young.

To Be Writers Journal 1 - in the train

I am sitting in the train going back home from my first creative writing lesson. Nice to have some time off from my regular life and I look, unworried and relaxed, to my fellow passengers.
For the course, we are expected to keep a journal, a journal to write what you feel and think. That’s my interpretation of it. It has to be something other than my expat diary. For two weeks, I will transform my expat blog to my homework media. We’ll see how the audience will like it!?

So, I am sitting in the train and I write this posting on paper to be typed at home. The train is a good place to get some writing material. Look at me, I am stuck here, cannot go anywhere while I am actually in motion to my destination. This gives such a comforting feeling that I give myself the permission to relax and look around.

I sit in somewhere halfway in an almost empty wagon, and I watch the few other passengers. They look so regular, so uninteresting, but let me take you to their lives and you will see how interesting they can be: The guy at the front, second seat on the left with the blemished skin and crazy hair, is just back from a jam session. He never became the famous trumpet player he wanted to be – and became a dentist – but he never gave up his music. He goes every week on Monday evening to the Sunset bar, and jams for couple of hours. You can see that he still has the music in his head; he plays the rhythm with his fingers.

“NOW WE ARE APPROACHING BROOKFIELD”

Are we already at Brookfield station, this is going to be a short trip home.
The lady sleeping in the seat next to mine is a nurse. She is tired, very tired. She hopes not to miss her stop. It happened to her before. She woke up in Belmont, five stops too late. She just cannot keep her eyes open, they are just too heavy. She is supposed to work ten hours a day, giving shots, taking blood pressures, dealing with all kinds of patients. Some are friendly, others demanding, sometimes even mean. It is a hard job, but she likes it. She is good in it. Days like today, when her ten hours becomes twelve – a colleague got sick – she stays without complaining. She…” Which stop was that? Oh, OK, still two to go. Keep the eyes open, keep them open…”

“NOW APPROACHING WESTERN SPRINGS”

The guy on the back with the suit and the laptop looks around with a friendly smile. He fired to people today. Nobody really understood why those two had to go. With the current economic situation, nobody dared to ask a thing. “These are hard times”, everyone said. He is boss feared by everyone at the company. In the train though, he smiles friendly to these people he does not know.

“NEXT STOP WILL BE DOWNERS GROVE/MAIN STREET”

It is time to stop writing. I am almost home.

The web is gone crazy!

After my last posting just an hour ago, I decided to read for my writing course, I have real homework to do. Just before that I thought I will do a little reading and commenting on some blogs I follow time to time. I was very happy to see that Bleeding Espresso (http://bleedingespresso.com/) posted the potato salad recipe I was gonna search on Internet one of these days. We will have little BBQ soon. I commented - don't know if it went OK, I couldn't find my comment on the page later on, and went on reading some more stuff.

First this posting, and than that, I started following some links on subjects as 'how do you increase traffic on your blog' and one hour later, I GOT LOST ON THE WEB! It still amazes me how much time and energy people are putting in those blogs, I am a super rookie, my blog is not even a baby, it's an embryo. Looking at my homework, the messy house and the 2,5 hours a day I have alone to myself, my blog will stay an embryo forever! This is very sad and I can't even say 'I will get a drink and forget about the whole thing for a while' because I am stuffed with too many drugs (medicines!) at this moment. I think I will do something crazy, turn off the computer, take my antibiotic 2 hours too early -OK, too dramatic, I know 2 hours difference can't cause an overdose', and go to sleep! Ciao!

To sue or not to sue....

Two days later - and it feels like two weeks - I still have the pain, fortunately I can stand it with 2 instead of 4 Ibuprofen 800's a day. I didn't know it existed in 800 mg! Well the improvement is obvious. It's supporting to hear that more people compare tooth pain to bearing a kid or a c section - fellow expat women!

This morning I got a bit stressed when I saw that I had only 4 Ibuprofen left, it's a just a days dose! (I became an addict!) I decided to go see the dentist. He started telling me the same story about what probably happened, that the bleach supposed to kill the nerves (don't try it at home please) probably irritated the tissue around the root etc. He draw it on poster on the wall - exactly what he did last time I went to tell him that I was suffering -. Then he handed me a paper, one page with information about the risks of a root canal that he thought I should have received it the first time I was there. He asked me if I had read it, I said 'probably, but I am not in state of remembering such a thing'. He if I had it, I said, 'ah most probably'. He, thus, printed out the copy and asked me if I had signed it. I read the last line, it was about liability, something like 'I understand that horrible things can happen if I have a root canal but I accept it all beforehand'. The guy was probably checking if his ass was covered - sorry to say that way-. welcome to America! I almost said ' I am not here to sue you till your last dollar, I just want you help because I am suffering!!!!'.

He did. He gave me some medicine with steroids which kind of scared me. I checked with the pharmacist to make sure that it will not have strange side effects as growing hair, growing super muscles, transforming myself to a manlike woman, who knows? After the ass covering event, I slightly lost trust to my dentist as you see. Fortunately, now I am enjoying my 2 Ibuprofen evening and I even feel creative, maybe I will write one more post or study for my writing class. See doctor, no reason to get stressed.

Root canal and the kids

This is no comparison of a root canal with the behaviour of the kids. I am in pain, in real pain. Can't think of anything, this root canal just took over everything. Monday I left my new dentist - who coincidentally has Belgium roots and part of his family lives in Turkey, - with the positive feeling that I was just OK. No more toothache, I thought, not for a while. Yesterday the pain said 'hello, I'm coming' and today was AAAAAAAAA. And I can stand some pain, I think I am allowed to say that after delivering 2 kids 100% naturally. I am in pain and it paralyzes me. The only think I want to do is lay down and sleep. The whole day, I can't think of anything else. But...Of course I have the kids running around and I find myself getting angry for no reason, or just ignoring whatever they are saying to me. I have, today, continuously rejected playing princess or playing with F's new doll she got from the neighbors for her b-day. When I am writing this, I feel so guilty. She came home from school totally excited, she only wanted to play with her toy. She said she didn't do anything nice today, which is of course not true; but I know what she means. A was with me alone when the pain reliever had worked for a little while, so we had some fun together. My poor little F, she deserves so much attention after having her b-day without a celebration! We will have party for her, but it is in two weeks.

Oh! I can't write anymore, I just want to rip out this tooth and get rid of the pain. I hope my dentist is a good one - he looks really nice and reliable, but I have no other reference - and I hope there is nothing wrong with the root canal. Can't even round up this posting. Bye.

Please sleep....

It is 9.30 pm and I decided to take a post right in front of the girls' doors. A is sleeping and I just can't let F wake her up by...crying for some other song? They just don't mind the 'mad mum' I become when I get tired and cannot have it anymore. No there is no stop, no rest...The crying and calling goes on and on. The 'mad mum' gets more grey hair, gets more 'mad' which results in even more crying. That's why I am sitting on the floor with my aching back and writing. The sound of typing has a suiting effect on the kids, probably. There is no crying for the last 15 minutes. I think we have a great break through. We just have to sit and type every evening, sounds so appealing!

Well I shouldn't complain that much, I have to admit that I slept till 9.00 this morning and now I am paying the price. My back is hurting so bad, I will stop now. I will just continue making the typing sound and relax...

9 p.m. and still crying

9 p.m. is for our standards not so bad actually. Dear daughters are allergic to sleeping. But why is F crying this time, that is the question. She started crying like she was in panic. What is it? Do you have pain, did you get scared? What happened? She has music on when she goes to sleep, this a solution we found for her being scared after the lights go off. It worked quite well till now. Sobbing she says to me: 'this is such a nice song, this is so nice' -more sobbing-. Of course, why not? If you like a song - even if you hear it 1000th time - you cry. There is always a reason to cry! What should I do, laugh or cry?

I cry. I don't know why.

A has one of her 'I cry. I don't know why' days. She's been crying for everything, since yesterday actually. There is no way to make her happy. She is too tired I guess, the last weeks have been too much of her. The funny thing is, F has her excuse. She does something that makes A cry, something ranging from an innocent touch to really hurting her,and says: 'A, you are just too tired, you cry for everything'.

A gets also tired when she is busy with growing up - mentally I mean. Her speaking is getting better, she starts making real sentences. Her favorite word is 'No', in English! Love to watch the girls growing up.

A dancing F

F is starting Ballet lessons from next week. It will be so cute and she is so excited. She wants to get her tutu as soon as possible, so that she can practice at home. We will still do soccer as well.

Hospital stories 2

Don't worry, we are home now and P went to work today. He is tired but that is not strange if you think all he went through. I will finish the posting about the operation, than I can leave it behind, too.

I was telling how it went right after the operation. Well, we arrived to the hospital right at the moment that P was brought back to his recovery room. It was after 6.30p.m. We went inside with the girls. P looked like someone who was just coming out of narcoses, just waking up. Well, they kept him at the edge of sleep with some drugs so he wasn't actually waking up because he was awake. Too difficult to explain, anyway, he saw us. He was very emotional, and of course me too. The girls looked a little distant. They didn't jump on him or anything. A seemed quite confused, she didn't like P laying in bed. F was acting a bit shy.

P was talking, but he kept on repeating the same things - I hear some people laughing -. He said 'did you talk to my parents'; I said 'yes, I talked to your dad'; 'why not my mother, why didn't you talk to my mother?'; 'I just let them know that you were out, it is late there you know'; 'OK'. Two minutes later: 'Did you talk to my parents?' ..........

He also kept on telling F that he had her drawing with him the whole operation. He couldn't hold it in his hand, so the doctors taped it on the bed, just next to his eye. It is a very cute story but came coming back. He also kept on falling asleep.

The nurse said he probably would go home next morning around 9. Now, it sounded like the deadlines from an IT project, quite impossible, but what do I know about patients. We didn't stay too long, I thought it was better to let P sleep.

I went to the restaurant at the corner of the hospital with the girls. Not much later Kerry, Tita's daughter came. She was going to stay with me at the hotel and babysit. We had quite a nice dinner. F was totally impressed with Kerry. She kept on looking at her with a dreamy smile. I was glad to see that, we all met Kerry that evening for the first time and fortunately she is a very nice girl. I brought the girls and Kerry to the hotel, put the girls to bed and left for the hospital. I was glad I had a babysitter.

P looked better, he was not repeating himself and looked really awake. He didn't remember much from the first time we were with him. He was the only patient at the department. There was a nurse that took care of him. As all the other nurses and doctors we met, she was very nice. She said P could already get up. We tried it just before I left, but P felt sick right away. How was he supposed to leave the hospital the next day? I left the hospital after a while and went to the hotel where there girls were sound asleep. Finally a good night sleep.

Next morning, I went to the hospital around 7.30, I didn't want to miss the doctor. Kerry took the girls out for breakfast. I was still hoping to leave the hospital before lunch time and I was making the logistic plans for the departure. Of course I already had packed and everything. P didn't really looked that good. the was still in bed and weak. The doctors came by and said that the procedure went very well, although it was very long and they have good expectations about he results.

Anyway, hours passed by and I still didn't know if P could leave. I had to check out so I carried all the luggage to the car with Kerry and the girls, checked out of the hotel. While Kerry and the girls were waiting at the waiting room, I stayed with P. Nobody could tell me when P was leaving the hospital. I couldn't keep Kerry with me anymore, I had to say good bye to her around 2.00 p.m. It took still couple of hours till everyone gave it up, P was staying at the hospital one more night. Luckily, I could get a room at the hotel - the same one that I left that morning - for only 10$ more. Well, it was week-end, understandable. Only this time I had to carry all the luggage back to the hotel with the girls, without Kerry or P. In such situations, F is such a big help! She gets this look on her face, saying she accepts her destiny. I couldn't go the hospital to see P that night, no babysitter.. I took the girls to a TGI Friday's for dinner. Not that we felt like going out or something, but we had to eat. Bad restaurant choice, they put us at table at the backside of the restaurant - two kids, oh no, put them by the kitchen - and the music was so loud and busy. I left the restaurant half hour later with two crying kids. At the hotel, we were all exhausted.

Next morning (Saturday), P looked quite better except a pain in his chest and he was also a little short of breath. Well, after such a procedure, not so strange I thought. They took a chest film, that didn't really show anything to worry about. They saw that one of his lungs was a little deformed and they thought it was due to long operation. His other values looked OK except a little high blood pressure. The doctor came and finally said we can go home. I was very happy to hear this. I was already checked out of the hotel - I am still impressed with my planning and logistics -, I had removed the car one day before at a very good spot in the parking garage so that P didn't have to walk much or take a lift and was anxious to get home. On his feet, P left the hospital and beginning of the afternoon, we were at home.

P had a very bad night, He was coughing if he laid on his back. I was so tired, I thought 'why don't you lay on your side, then you don't cough'. Never think such a thing, you only feel guilty later. See why: Next morning P called the doctor from the hospital. He told about his coughing, shortness of breath and chest pain. The doctor sounded little irritated, but still we ended up at the emergency room where we basically walked in before all the people waiting there. P ended up staying at the hospital 2 more nights, took 6 different antibiotics and had probably something like 10 doctors walking in and out of his room. That was the lung Pneumonia that I wrote before. I hated going home that night, cried to Brooke on the phone and to Brooke and Paula, the head of the school next morning. I slept very bad and when P called next morning at 6.30 a.m., just to wake me up, I got to the phone in panic thinking something bad had happened. Probably I deserved it because I thought 'why don't you lay on your side, then you don't cough' while P couldn't breath normally and he was thinking they burned something very wrong during the operation and he will never recover/be normal again.

We came home around 2 p.m. on Tuesday. Just half hour later, we had two neighbors at our door with food - they came separately. It seems to be traditional here to bring food in such a situation. More Turkish than Dutch I would say. The next day, Paula showed up with food. Overwhelming. The next day, we baked 4 Swedish brownies for the 2 neighbors, Paula and Brooke. The girls baked one each and I kind of lost track of the measurements, so I was afraid they wouldn't taste good. Fortunately, didn't hear anything negative.

P is back to work since Monday and he is doing OK although he is still tired. Now, life just goes on....

News from the hospital, I mean from home!

We are home and everything looks good. P is tired, we are all tired. He takes antibiotics and he will visit some doctor close by couple of times in the coming days. They want to check some blood values, to make sure that the blood thinners are working as expected. I hope some rest will do him good, and he will be healthier than ever in just a couple of weeks. 8.30 pm and I think I am the only one awake in the house. I will go ahead and enjoy this free evening!

Something to feel happy about

P is sleeping. Just got a call from Brook who has the girls. She said F is speaking English, and she is speaking very good English. She put on a princess dress and she said 'where are the shoes for this dress?' And then she said, 'they are too small, can you make them bigger'. Little lady is making full sentences and with us she pretends she doesn't understand a thing. And she had a perfect accent. Brook thought this would cheer us up.

I decided to go back home tonight and come back tomorrow with the girls. Hopefully P can come home with us after that. Logistically this will make things easier for everyone except for P who will be alone here. Fortunately this is a good hospital and the rooms are not depressing. He has the executive room he says, he has windows on two sides at the 13th floor with scenery of the city.

Hospital stories 1...

It is already Monday and we are still at the hospital. I started writing about this whole thing while we were at the hotel but didn't have the chance to set on the Internet.

The present situation: the doctor said that P has probably a Pneumonia. (see at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pneumonia ). He has shortness of breath, temperature between 38-38.5 degrees, coughing. We heard couple of things as probably when he throw up after the procedure, he got some in his lungs which caused some infection, or he just got something at the hospital. But what we understand is that they do not know 100% what it is, but nobody looks too worried. They are giving him antibiotic cocktail. His temperature should go back to normal and probably then he will go home. What we don't like to hear is that they are not totally sure of what's happening. You ask yourself: 'what if?'. But I don't want to make anyone worried. The doctors and the hospital are really good here, and everyone is friendly.

The girls are at a friend of F's from school. I will call how they are doing. We are both glad that they are not here but we both miss them as well. Some crazy parental feeling.... When I brought the girls to the school I saw the director of the school - who called on Thursday to say good luck, she is so nice too - and Brook, I started crying again. What's happening to me!!!!............

Last night: I called with Brook, mother of F's friend to ask if she would be willing to pick up the girls from school. F is totally crazy about their daughter and they are so nice. When Brook heard what was going on, she said right away that the girls may even sleep there. She was so nice, understanding and supporting, I had to cry for the first time since the operation. F said she was OK with staying there and I hope A will just follow her sister. I wrote a users guide for the kids for her and packed their clothes. Fingers crossed, I hope they will do fine. On the way to school, I said to F that she should help A, especially if she wants her 'pesje', she should say that it is her pacifier. F said: 'I sometimes forget things but this one I will not forget'. I am sure she already forgot is.

When I was talking to Brook, I was telling about our previous hospital story where they kept P for 4 days and didn't do anything. I called that hospital 'the black hole hospital. You get in but you cannot get out'. They call it 'the pretend hospital'. Haha!

right after the operation: We are now at the hotel room. The girls and Kerry, our babysitter for the night is sleeping. I just came back from the hospital. P looked much more like himself, but got tired very fast. Amazing, he may leave the hospital at 9 am tomorrow! After a surgery of 10,5 hours – yes 10,5 hours – he can walk around tomorrow. We were at the hospital at 7 am this morning. It feels like a week ago. Around 7.30 - 8am, I am guessing, the surgery began. It was after 6 pm when they called to say that he was ready.

Today was a strange day. Waiting and waiting…. The rain didn’t stop a second. We got soaked for 3-4 times. I got wet through my raincoat. F was very brave and walked after me, the crazy mom who couldn't sit in the hotel room, under her little red umbrella. Her feet and pants were soaked, but she hardly complained. We also spent hours in the hospital building. From lunch at 12.30 till almost 5pm. The girls ran in the corridors, put on masks(the ones doctors have for operations), colored, played with water from drinking fountains… Well, it was dry and more spacious than the hotel room.

I will continue...

Girls soccer is big in the USA - continued

F had today her second soccer practice. Last week, she was left crying on the sideline when all the other kids went dribbling with their ball. She was shy and scared and quite lost.

As responsible parents, we took some action last week. We practiced with her. She teamed up with daddy P against mommy and little sister A. Of course P took it quite serious teaching her passing and how she should anticipate to the ball. I kept to the simple basics like 'there is a ball and a goal and you try to get the ball in the goal - between the two paint cans we put on the ground - and you do this by kicking the ball with your feet, thus no hands.'

So this morning, our hopes and expectations were high. She was going to play soccer like the other kids. This time she went and stood on the side line as the other kids. She dribbled and did all the other exercises. She joined the team play. She ran with the other kids. The only downside to this was that she didn't touch the ball once. She looked like in deep thoughts, or day dreaming. But at the end of the practice she said she liked it. She had red cheeks from running and she was proud of herself - of course we too! Looks like we will have more family soccer practices in the coming days, which I have to say is quite fun.

By the way, we have another rising star. A is left handed and left footed and she is gooood with the ball!

F's first soccer training

We got F to a soccer club. Why? To get her socialized, to get her into sports and also because it sounded like a good idea when the sportive neighbours said it would be so much fun for her if we did it. One more thing, the trainer is Turkish and obviously F understands better Turkish than English at this moment.

That's also how I got her to the club. She had to be 5 before sept 1st but of course she is not. I sent a mail saying that she really wanted it and she didn't speak any English but Turkish and having someone speaking a language she understands would make her feel better. I got a very nice mail saying: 'Welcome! We completely understand how difficult it can be to not speak the native language. The fact that she speaks Turkish-how on earth could we turn her away? 23 days is not significant. We actually have two Turkish coaches and they would be thrilled to have your daughter join Young Scouts'

We bought her small soccer shoes, shin guards and knee socks. She was very enthusiastic about it, she showed them to P when he came home. We went yesterday to the field. There were many little kids of her age. They all got a ball. They gathered in the field in a long row. Our little F went there with some reluctance, P had to bring her actually. The trainer said the kids to drill. All of them left the line running after their balls except one little girl. She was looking down, not moving at all and of course started crying. P went to her. She joined the group when the kids were divided in teams of 4 and and playing a game. F stood at the beginning on the line with another kid who didn't want to play either - his father had to join P. After a while, she started running with the other kids. There was a girl with pink socks and pink skirt in her team and she kind of started following her. And the Turkish trainer was talking and encouraging her - in Turkish. He said he will buy ice cream if she touches the ball - luckily the other kids couldn't understand that. Finally at the very end she kicked the ball once.

Today she seems more enthusiastic. Next week there is a new training and we will try to make her even more enthusiastic about it. Seems like we will be playing some soccer the whole family. I will continue next week...

Surgery on September 4

We are just back from vacation. I am back to playing princess games and going to the pool or the beach. But now I will write for a while.

Just before vacation, we had a hospital experience. P was not feeling well. He has this hearth condition, already 8 years. It's called atrium fibrillation. His heart beats too fast, and arrhythmic, and he's been taking medication for years when it happens. There were periods when it happened too often and he ended up going to the hospital. They gave him the same medication in infuse and he was cured for a couple of weeks.

So he was not feeling well, and he was also feeling some chest pain, he decided to stop by the hospital on a Saturday afternoon. We thought he would get the medication and he will come back home maybe after one night of stay at the hospital. The nurses took it serious, so he called home to say he will spend the night there. Nothing unexpected.

The next day he was still at the hospital. The strange thing was, they were doing nothing at the hospital besides keeping him monitored while his heart was beating like crazy. There was no cardiologist who came and did something. The hospital couldn't reach the cardiologist till late on Saturday. I don't recall if he came by after they reached him. Sunday, nothing happened. P watched some movies we brought, slept and watched some more movies.

They scheduled P for some tests, the same that he was planning to do without staying at the hospital. So we thought it was OK that he stays one more night as the tests were scheduled for the next morning. While he was at the hospital for 2 nights, his tests began not the first thing in the morning but at 3.00 pm! At a certain moment, and after a lot of complaining, the nurse came with two pills, the same pills he has at home, the ones that are not working for him anymore. After 4 days of hospitalization, P was home tired, not happy with the service and his condition was exactly the same as 4 days before. What did the hospital do, I do not know. We heard later that they didn't have his medicine in infuse in the states, the hospital didn't have a cardiologist in the weekend - I missed the sign saying: please no heart attacks in the weekend -, P's condition was bad enough that they kept him at the hospital but somehow the cardiologist didn't find it necessary to come and visit or when he came didn't do anything except not letting him go. Did I say not, well they let him go with the same condition as he walked in!

The only thing they did well - beside the tests that we needed anyway - was to send the bill which included couple thousands of dollars for the missing cardiologist. We expected this to be a very good hospital as it is in the most wealthy town around here, so a lot of wealthy people would be going there. I mean in the US, I suppose those people would sue the hospital if they don't do their best, that's how it works here right?

What now, P went to another doctor at the Northwestern University hospital. He checked the test results. He said that the one medicine the doctors at the hospital suggested was not good, and the test results were not as positive as they said. P's heath is loosing capacity as a result of continous fibrillation. The only option at this moment is a surgery called cardiac ablation. It is good news that there is something they can do about it, not nice news because he needs to go through a surgery. The date is set at 4 september and if everything goes fine, he will leave the hospital healthy onthe 5th.

New friends and furniture stories

Today we met a family from the kids' school. The director gave our number to some families so that we can meet them en let the kids play. It is a super nice family with three kids, a girl at F's age, one older boy and a boy at A's age. The mother had all kinds of nice stuff prepared for us, and we were there like 9:30a.m. Her husband is brother of the husband of our neighbors we met lately - by the way, they are coming for dinner tomorrow. Kelly, our neighbor was there too with her daughter. The kids had a good time and the mothers too. Fun fun fun....

Wednesday we painted the bed and the bookcase of A. We had a friend of F, Rowan to help us. A's furniture is now a color I can best describe as lavender. A's was first a little sad, she thought her bed was broken. Next morning when she saw her bed ready and back in her room she was so excited. She is still excited to see her bed when she goes to sleep. She says 'nice' (mooi). I guess I can conclude that she likes it.

I think all our furniture stories came to an end. We got F's long waited dresser - I ordered it from another company, didn't pay the last bit of money we were supposed to pay to the Wicky lady who drove me crazy, and kept he dresser she 'lent' us because she basically never came to pick it up and pay some of our money back. The new dresser cost us quite little extra when I look at the balance, a bit more then 100 dollar. F's room looks beautiful. A's room is also beautiful with the newly painted furniture. The only space we are still missing is the basement and I just wait calmly for the landlord...

One last thing, this is a request from my dear brother, who probably will visit this house after we move to some other country.... My little niece got her name after she was 29 days old and her name is Arya - I like it and she is so cute...was cute because the last pictures I saw were... I never saw pictures of her. Hey brother, what did you think about sending some???

Quick note

Today at the pool, I met a Dutch family. They moved here just a week ago and they have 3 kids, 1 girl at F's age, a boy at A's age and another boy a little older.

To keep the social life spirit up (and trying not to disappoint Bleeding Espresso - I had to mention her somewhere) I also arranged tickets for a play downtown: we will see Alice in Wonderland.

One last thing for this evening: today after the pool, we were by our car and A said (in Dutch): "This is our car". Her first whole correct sentence. Good job A!

A taste of nature: Lincoln Zoo and Shedd Aquarium

Looks like that was it with the social life for the moment. Now I have some spare time to go back to the stuff I wanted to write for a while. Today, we go back to the zoo and to the aquarium.

With my in-laws, I wanted to do some real sight seeing. I think P was in Europe, earning some money. One day we decided to go to the zoo. It was one of the last days at school for the girls, so it must be the last week of June. The kids had school till noon. So when they came home and we had lunch and everything, it was already quite late. We decided to go to the Lincoln Zoo in Chicago. There is a bigger zoo in IL and they are both same distance, but I thought we can go to the city afterwards to eat something and the other zoo seemed too big, we would just get lost and end up seeing nothing. That was my idea at least. 10 minutes after we left, around 2.30pm, we ended up in a traffic jam. I felt kind of bad, but the mood in the car was good, it was still a fun drive. We arrived there 1 hour before the closing time, the indoor exhibitions were already closed. It was still fun and worth.

A little touristic information about the zoo: it is small, in the middle of the city close by the lake. It is surrounded with parks, you don't know where the park ends, where the zoo begins. It is for free but parking is obviously not - ouch. Still, she animals have pretty specious places. For the bear, you have to wait and hope that the animals walk by to see them. It is so weird to look at this very real looking piece of nature while you see apartment buildings in the background. The bear and the wolves were very nice to see. I don't remember what for other animals we saw, but we had a nice time.

We left the zoo around 6 pm. I decided to look for a restaurant in the neighborhood that I read about in my travel guide. We drove by the restaurant and didn't even stop, it didn't look inviting - maybe it wasn't even open. We looked around to see other places without success. It was quite crowded on the streets. We ended up in another traffic jam. Guess what, the local baseball team had a game and we were on the street leading to the stadium. We were stuck! Finally we could get on a side street. We ended up eating in a Japanese restaurant in Evanston, a perfect place to be with the kids. Unfortunately I don't remember what it was called. Sorry, no free advertisement this time.

Now the aquarium: The Shedd Aquarium. On the Internet it says 'Largest indoor aquarium in the world, with more than 8000 aquatic animals'. We went there after the summer school was out, so we had the whole day. We took the train to the city and when we arrived, there was a bus leaving for the aquarium. When we arrived, we had top walk along the shore to get to the aquarium. We watched the sail boats coming and going.

The aquarium is in a very beautiful building right on the lake shore. I have to put a picture of it.

(source: http://www.dam.brown.edu/people/glin/Chicago_Postcards/shedd-aquarium.jpg). The whole shore side is glass and you get the feeling that the aquarium and the lake are one.

We started with the dolphins. I have to say that the show was not so much fun for the kids. It was a lot of talking - of course about the climate change, how do we save our planet kind of stuff - and not too much action. It was very 'animal friendly', the dolphins were showing their daily routine to stay fit. Then we went to the wild reef. That was amazing: sharks, stingrays, all kinds of fish swimming around in the huge water tanks. Nemo's and Dori's were very exciting for the kids. A was very interested in the stingrays. You could actually walk on the tank full of stingrays, it had a see-through floor. A insisted that a stingray bit her nose. I had to drag her to the clown fish, otherwise she would still be there looking for her nose.

The Caribbean reef was another amazing exhibit. There was a real diver swimming around and showing what kind of interesting things the fish can do. There was a fish collecting stones. The guy brought the stones away and signed us to wait for 3 minutes. And yes, 3 minutes later, the stones were back to their places.

Besides the fish, there were some more animals, I think from the Amazon area. There was a real anaconda, giant ants and roaches from the rain forest. Well, I am glad I didn't become a biologist going to the Amazon for some kind of research and I have all the respect for the people doing that! We saw more and I cannot write it all down, it is impossible. We spent hours and we didn't get to see it all. It was the best aquarium I saw. Chapeau for the Americans.

We left the aquarium way later than planned and decided to walk to the station. On our way, I saw the Italian restaurant our neighbors mentioned when they heard we were going to the city: The Italian Village. It is OK with the kids and the food was good, only we were quite tired to enjoy it fully. The Italian Village gets its free ad from me.

Bye for now.

Oh! we are social!!

The summer is really starting here. It is very humid and it doesn't cool off in the night. In the winter all the Americans were sitting home because it was too cold, now they are sitting at home with their airco on. Well, the local pool is quite crowded too. We managed to hardly use the airco, I don't want us to get too used to it.

Last Sunday the 13th, we were invited for a b-day party on the beach. A classmate of A, Peri turned two. It was quite nice to be there, to meet people. The beach was great - it's not our regular beach and of course it was much better than our beach. The kids played, we had a real American breakfast. It was very nice for F. She was starting to get a little bored being with me and A all the time. Well, my patience to play princess games was at its lowest lately, too. After the party we stayed a little longer to enjoy the beach. F was really trying to communicate and play with other kids. She was a little more outgoing and she was even answering questions as 'how old are you?' - mostly coming from grown-ups.

Last Thursday, we arranged a play date with one of her classmates, Rowan. F was talking about Rowan since the first day of school. She was so excited that Rowan was actually coming to play at our house. Wednesday night, F couldn't fall asleep because of excitement. It was already after 10p.m when she called P and asked "how do you say 'do you want to play hide and seek in English?'". P had to go upstairs later to tell it to her again. Thursday morning, we went to do some shopping. I thought F would go crazy if we stayed home. When Rowan arrived around 3p.m., F got a little shy but It didn't take too long. We played all 4 of us hide and seek and afterwards, I left them alone. They played together for almost 2 hours. P, who arrived home early (because he was going to sixflags with his colleagues) said that F was talking English with Rowan. She was saying: "this is the prince, this is the princess...". Could this be my retirement of playing princess?

Yesterday, we had the colleague of P and his family for dinner. It is Tim and Amanda, we visited them couple weeks ago. They have two boys, 2 and almost 4 year old. Last time the children played so nicely and Amanda is very nice, I thought she can come with the boys early, we can go to the beach and meet the working man later at home - and let them cook the meat. Unfortunately, the plan didn't work. Amanda had to wait for someone who had a doctors appointment till late in the afternoon. She was babysitting this person's child. They arrived almost at 6p.m. I have to say I was not very pleased. I had said the girls that we would go to the beach after they arrived. It was very hot and F kept on asking me to go to swim. Around 5, I left for the beach and left a note on the front door for Amanda. They came (all 4 of them) to the beach and the kids played a while, not with each other though. By the way, F was swimming alone with her inflated arm bands. She is so excited about it, I think she might learn swimming as she learned biking. Anyway, we went home around 6.30p.m and the rest of the evening was very nice. The kids got on the trampoline, played in the yard, they had their own table for dinner, they just enjoyed it all. We did too, it was a lovely evening. We said we should meet again soon.

F on the bike and A on the potty

Yesterday(Saturday), F got on her new little bike without training wheels. Actually, we got the bike from our neighbors, their daughter is too big for it. I put a new wheel on it on Friday. It was too late to try it then, so we decided to wait till Saturday. Anyway, she got on it. P was walking and holding her arm and the were going side by side. At the end of our street, she said to P, "let me go" and he did and she biked. She started biking just like that! We both couldn't believe it. Today, we let her practice as much as possible. Very soon, she can bike next to us I think. We are two proud parents, we cannot stop telling the story.

Yesterday, we walked a little further so that F could bike a little more. One street further, we met a nice family. They have a 3 year old daughter and a baby of 8 months. They seemed very nice. Their daughter kept on calling F 'Emma' - nobody knows why - and they biked together for a while. F was so happy, she was biking, a girl was playing with her. She even responded to her new name!

Well, the story is not only about F, A had her triumph as well, and on the same day. We are busy with her potty training. She started a short while ago. At the last week at the school, they started training her as well. She is very interested and doing quite good... with the small one. When she has a stinky in her diaper, she remembers she has to go to the restroom and takes her diaper off and as you can guess, it is a big mess. Our bathroom floors are probably the cleanest of the country as I have to clean them sometimes more than once a day! Saturday morning, I heard A calling me from the bathroom upstairs. Finally, she had managed to sit on the potty on time. Good job girl! She is so funny, she sits maybe 20 minutes, reads all kinds of books and she is so excited to see the results. She might be out of diapers before school starts again.

Back to blog

It is so long ago that I posted on the blog... you know it means that I have been busy, which is good. I will try to give an overview of all that happened since the flood. I should better keep it short, otherwise it take couple of days to give all the details.

The kids' summer school ended at he end of June. I think they enjoyed it a lot, me too as I got 2,5 hours of my time per day. A cried each time I brought her to school, except the last week. Somehow she decided that it it was actually OK to be there and mommy came to pick her up everyday. I also changed the order I dropped the kids off. I was bringing F to class so that A could see that it was OK, but the last week we did it the other way around. It was much better. A gave be a half hug and a kiss, gave a big big hug to her sister and she walked in the class, without even looking back! I was amazed. We also had help from another child's' parents, Peri. Peri's father walked to the building, Peri walking next to him. A was standing in the middle of the path refusing to walk - the kids are supposed to walk to their classes, some Montessori thing. Peri's father saw us standing and came back with her daughter. Peri took A from the hand and helped her to walk. It was very cute. Peri helped us couple of other times too. Later on A was doing well all by herself as I mentioned before.
I met quite some parents - mostly mothers - at school. We will make some play dates and we are invited to Peri's b-day, next week-end on the beach!

I went to the farmers market on Friday mornings after dropping the kids off at school. Our house is now very often full with flowers. They don't last 3 weeks as in Holland, but they are not less beautiful.

My in-laws came back from their trip around the lake Michigan. They stayed another 2,5 weeks here. P was gone to Europe for 10 days, so it was very nice having them here. They did a lot of nice things with the kids and I didn't have to iron a thing for a while. Just before P left, we were gone shopping - the two of us - to buy some presents for our friends who had a big party for their 10th wedding anniversary. Anyway, we were walking in a shop when we heard some people talking Dutch to us, they heard us talking. It was a couple on their last vacation day. We talked a while. They told us they rented a camper etc. At a certain moment they said, half joking that they had two bikes for sale. I jumped on the opportunity. We wanted to bike with P's parents but we couldn't find the neighbor home to lend bikes. We ended up driving to the Dutch couple's camp ground and buying their bikes. We enjoyed the bikes many times in the last weeks. Thanks guys!

OK, I will post this now as the kids will not let me write longer for the moment. I will be back with the trip to aquarium, the zoo, out to the Sex and the city movie, the meeting in Paris, picking up P and bringing in-laws to the airport, out for dinner w/P, beach visits, picnics, one evening to the neighbors, kids story contest and Internations. This is like little reminder for me so I don't forget to write it all. I will be back....

Yes! Yesterday I saw the Sex and the City movie

and it was goooood! Very nice humor, nice dresses, glamour, everything I expected. We went with Ale, while my in-laws were babysitting. It was a real girls' night out, no husbands... After the movie, we went to eat some sushi in Glenview; that's where Ale lives. We were not at the top of our glamour: Ale is 7 months pregnant and she is pregnant-beautiful as opposed to the high heal/small dress - beautiful 'Sex and the City stars; and I am a poor housewife, mother of two, lacking quite some beauty sleep and a trip to the hairdresser. But I had such a good time. It was like we've been friends with Ale for a long time. So bad she is leaving USA in a couple of weeks. I will miss her for sure.
When I arrived home, I woke up from the nice dream. A had been crying for a long time, my in-laws' evening was not that nice, I could tell it from the look in their eyes. I'm back to real life.

Arzu and Arno were here!

So nice to see some old friends at our new home. Arzu and Arno had a hotel in Chicago for a couple of nights. They came over to have dinner one evening. (the day before the flooded basement), we went to downtown with them and I went downtown to have dinner with Arzu. Two girls together means a lot of talking and talking. We had a nice restaurant in the Gold Coast and we took the metro together, first time for me in USA. Thanks to the nice weather, we could sit outside.

The kids love uncle Arno. At downtown, we had dinner a family friendly restaurant and he kept the kids busy all the time, making faces and jokes. The kids, especially F cannot have a picture with a normal face.

Thanks friends for coming and we hope to see you soon!

Flood!!

Our basement is flooded. It has been raining like crazy here and the sump pump gave it up. For the regular non US resident who doesn't know what a sump pump is, I will try to give a description. But don't expect much... Lucky for me and of course for you, there is something called Google.com.

Wikipedia says: 'A sump pump is a pump used to remove water that has accumulated in a sump pit. A sump pit, commonly found in the home basement, is simply a hole to collect water. The water may enter via the perimeter drains of a basement waterproofing system, funneling into the pit, or may arrive because of rain or because of natural ground water, if the basement is below the water table level. Sump pumps are installed particularly where basement flooding is seen as a problem, but are also used to ameliorate dampness where the water table is normally above the foundation of a home. Sump pumps send water away from a house to any place where it no longer presents a problem, such as a municipal storm drain or a dry well. Sump pumps are usually hardwired into a home's electrical system, and may have a battery backup. Some even use the home's pressurized water supply to power the pump, eliminating the need for electricity. Since a sump pit may overflow if not constantly pumped, a backup system is important for cases when the main power is out for prolonged periods of time. '

I actually do not expect you to understand a thing form this description, so don't worry about it. So we have a sump pit behind a door in the basement. Very strange to see. The water from rain or melting snow as we had in spring, is collected there and pumped out to somewhere outside the house. Why does it need to be collected at the first place, I don't know. It has to do with the 'basement waterproofing system'. And of course I have a description of that too:

'Basement waterproofing refers to techniques used to prevent water from entering the basement of a house or other building. Effective below ground waterproofing will include both drainage and sealers.
Waterproofing is needed anytime a structure is built at ground level or below ground. Waterproofing and drainage considerations are especially needed in cases where ground water is likely to build up in the soil and raise the watertable. This higher watertable causes hydrostatic pressure to be exerted underneath basement floors and against basement walls. Hydrostatic pressure forces water in through cracks in foundation walls, through opening caused by expansion and contraction of the footing-foundation wall joint and up through floor cracks. Hydrostatic pressure can cause major structural damage to foundation walls and is likely to contribute to mold, decay and other moisture related problems.'

As I said before, it has been raining like crazy here. The water level in the neighborhood was higher than usual. The swamp behind the house had a higher water level that even I could see. And of course, it just kept on raining.

Sunday we had friends over for dinner - I will come back to this. Visitors from the Netherlands deserve their special posting! - . We were showing them the house, the garden. Some parts of the garden close to the swamp was quite full of water. When you walked, you got wet feet. It was strange, we were always amazed how fast the garden was dry after each rain.

That evening we also realized that the sump pump was working continuously and pumping the water in the garden just outside the house. Well, we didn't really know where it was pumping the water before, so we thought it should have been that way all the time, but because of the heavy rain we realized it for the first time.

I got a bit worried though, if the ground water gets even higher, the pump will never have the chance to pump it outside and it just got the same water back in the pit anyway - that happens if you pump the water right in the garden. And it didn't stop raining, it was horrible weather. I sent a mail to the homeowner to ask if we should get worried especially since there was so much water in the garden. I even did a little research on the Internet and read that some sump pumps do actually pump the water in the garden. I decided to see if the next morning I get an answer to my mail and otherwise ask a neighbor if there was something to do about the climbing water level.

I checked the basement at 5:30 and at 7:30. Everything seemed OK and the rain had stopped. I brought the kids to the school, did some work (grocery shopping, library, I don't remember) and picked up the kids at noon. When we arrived home I said I am going to see if I can find a neighbor to ask about the pump. I ran downstairs to check the basement. Oh no! there were two small water stains on the carpet by the sump pump. Heeeeelp! What do I do. I had no idea.

I called P, he clicked me away. I left a message to a neighbor and to the contact person of the homeowners. The first one to come to my help was Kim, our neighbor. She ran to our house and started calling the plumbers. Oh, OK, so I needed a plumber... Not surprisingly, the plumbers were overbooked, the rain had been so devastating. The third one could send someone in an hour, who arrived two hours later. Kim also called a water damage company. A water damage company comes to your home after a flood and cleans up. You really need them fast, the carpet sucks the water up and it goes even into the walls. In 72 hours, mold starts growing all over. (that last one is what the water damage guy said to me).

While waiting for the plumber, we ran downstairs to pick up stuff laying on the ground. I was glad we did it, when the plumber came, the whole carpet was wet, the whole basement... It was just sad! By the way, we didn't have too much stuff on the ground: some boxes I never emptied, a computer and some books that we saved on time... The bookcases and some wardrobe parts in the storage got wet. Nothing too bad. I got to the store after Kim left, the door was jammed. I saw our baby bed that I just took apart -A sleeps in the IKEA bed now -, the bottom was wet and I cried. I cried my bed and the baby box got wet, I cried the house was a mess, I cried I was there dealing with that alone except for Kim and I cried because I hated the house at that moment with its raccoons, sewer problems, mouse, sump pumps and sump pits and now this! Fortunately, I do not hate it anymore, it is still such a nice house and I believe before we move back, I will be able to finish moving in.

I didn't know how to thank Kim. I was in panic and she had arranged everything. She said:' Oh well, I've through this twice, the first time I didn't know what to do either'.

So a dummies guide for what to do if your basement floods:

• Find someone who is calm and knows what to do. Some experience with the situation is a pre
• Call the plumber. If you cannot get one right away, call another one. Leave your number to all of the plumbers in case they have someone available and make sure that they don't send him before calling back. You don't want to get two plumbers at your door, it costs money!
• Arrange a water damage company. The plumbing company may know one.
• Save your stuff. Even if you think: 'Oh, the water will never reach this place', it will. It does. Our study looked totally dry when the water damage guy came. He measured with a machine, almost the whole room was wet!
• Do not put your stuff on the stairs. The water damage guy carries the wet carpets up the stairs and needs the space.

The plumber changed the sump pump. It was still pumping some water but the water came in faster, it was 'tired'. He couldn't tell us why the water was pumped outside the house where it came right back in the sump pit. Some strange construction probably. The new pump started working continuously again, but at least it has the power to coop up with the rain. The water damage guy came couple hours later. He checked the damage, gave a price estimate for the job. 4,5 thousand, seriously! The same evening we got contact with the landlord and they said 'do whatever needs to be done. It is an emergency'. They felt bad as we also felt bad, but nobody could do something, the nature is just too strong. Right now, the carpet is gone, the baseboards are removed, the floor is sanitized. The guy found mold in the basement bathroom, but not from this flood. It's good he found it, bad stuff, the mold. I am sitting in the kitchen writing this and trying to ignore the sound of 12 machines drying the basement. It's like sitting next to the washing machine running continuously, I hate it. Tomorrow, Saturday morning, the guy will come and pick them up. They have been there since Tuesday evening. I wonder when the basement will be ready again. The entrance looks like the first days when the boxes arrived, it is depressing. Well, tomorrow when the machines are gone, I will be too happy to think about that for a while.