March 27
Well, I have been busy with unpacking for the last two weeks. Believe me, it is not finished yet. The moving company came to pick up the empty boxes today. What a relief. I made a small mountain of empty boxes just by the front door to remind myself that I should go on unpacking. It worked OK, but I am very tired and totally sick of seeing boxes. The house is still a mess but most of the boxes are empty and gone. The lady who will come tomorrow for the cleaning will not help, I have to go on to make this place a nice house. But there is hope!
By the way, did you know that OK, came from war times. OK meant O(zero) K(illed). It meant your army came home with no causalities. I have no idea if it is true, I just read it somewhere.
Lets go back to our story:
F is learning English:
F started with her English lessons. She gets private lessons as a part of the expat package. I have to add that our relocation agent, Martha arranged it for us. P and I were eligible to have language lessons, but not F. A very nice, very calm lady, Barbara, teaches F English. F makes everyday a big bag of toys ready. She puts on nice clothes - for school.... She is really excited about it. At the end of the lessons, she doesn't want to leave.
The lessons are an hour or an hour and a half long. Barbara is playing games with F. She repeats basic English words over en over again. It looks easy but she tries to keep her focused and interested the whole time.
At the end of the first day I asked F what they did and what she had learned. She looked at me a little sad, maybe confused: 'but I still can't speak English'. She expected to speak English after the first lesson and she was disappointed that it did not happen. I realize I failed to 'manage her expectations' if I may say it in consultant words.
No! Snow again:
Last week, we had a couple of nice days. The snow was almost totally melted. We went out with thin coats, without scarfs. Birds appeared in the garden. I thought the summer was on its way. Last Friday, I woke up to see that the winter was back again. It snowed a whole day, leaving maybe 40cm of snow on the ground. P had to shovel the driveway again. The next day, Saturday was Easter. We were planning to go to the 'Easter egg hunt' of the Dutch Club. P did everything to not to go. He didn't want to drive our new car in such a weather, with all the salt on the streets... But of course, we went. Unfortunately, we got lost, arrived 1,5 hours late and the kids missed the most of the fun stuff....
How are the kids reacting to the relocation:
A lot of people are asking how the kids are reacting to relocation. A is doing good. She enjoys playing with F though she can play alone very nicely as well. She likes climbing on everything and jumps down - nothing to do with relocation obviously! She jumped yesterday from a dining table chair. That thing is at the height of her shoulders! She says 'no' sometimes in English. I think she enjoys being with me and her sister. The only thing she misses is playing outside. The weather didn't let us go out often. She will enjoy the summer. She is eating good, sleeping good and very enjoyable. (knock on the wood!)
F has sleeping problems. She was never a good sleeper but now she really has difficulties falling asleep. She misses playing with other kids. She says the nicest thing is to play with me, but I just can't play with her the whole day. Last week, she started playing alone a little bit more. She uses her imagination and plays that she is Cinderella or some other princess. I like to see that she learns to enjoy herself. I was very good at that at her age. But I had very often no one to play with, being the youngest of the family and I don't want this situation to go on for much longer. She needs friends. She actually told me today that she likes the English lessons a lot, but it would have been nicer if there were other kids.... Well, that hurts. She also said she misses her classmates back at home and Daniel and Eva, her best friends. She asked me if we may once go back, so that she can play with Eva. OK, it is obvious that she needs some support. This is my next task after unpacking!
And how about P? Anybody interested to hear about him? I am sure you are: He is working hard, as hard as I was working before(ha ha) and on top of that he has to travel a lot. He is actually falling asleep on the couch quite often. He gets up everyday around six o'clock, starts working around seven and comes home around six. He has a lot of responsibility and therefore stress. I sometimes feel bad about it, especially because I am not working outside the house, but that's how it is. One thing I know, if he had to stay couple of days in a row with the kids and do all the work in and around the house, he would get crazy. Maybe it is my excuse to make myself feel better.... I think he likes coming to a more restful home. Dinner is ready, shopping is done (nothing new, I mostly did it!), kids are happy to see him and want to play with him. I think he will feel less tired when we are settled down and have more routines.
I will tell about myself another time, nobody's asking right! I am getting tired of this post, I will stop. Cheers!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Thursday, March 20, 2008
P's b-day
The last days, couple of exciting things happened. P celebrated his b-day, after being gone for a week. The kids were very excited to pick him up at the airport. It took him one and a half hour to come through the customs, but the excitement was not less. F was waiting the whole time at the sliding doors, jumping around, but she got a little shy when she saw her father, while A realized we were there to pick up daddy and gave him a big hug. It was nice to see. At home, we gave P his presents and ate cake.
After that, we arranged the car insurance which was very important. P bought Cinderella for F and A, so they started watching it. Surprisingly (!) P fell asleep on the couch with two kids on his lap. F kept on talking to him, asking questions about the film. It didn't matter that she didn't get any answers. Next time when she keeps on asking endless questions, I won't bother giving answers either. Looks like she is OK with that.
Next morning, we went to the other Montessori school we wanted to see. We liked it a lot. It was small and looked very peaceful. We left there with a good feeling. Afterwards, we went to have a cup of coffee with Martha who is our relocation counselor and baby sitter for the school appointment - kids were not allowed to this first appointment. Martha told us that F was saying a lot of stuff in English when they were together. She told her 'speak English', named colors and she was counting. It is amazing!
At the Starbucks F and A both managed to spill their hot chocolate on their new shirts. They got really bored there, started running around, and picking up all the napkins and straws. Just before we got kick out of Starbucks, we left it voluntarily. We said goodbye to Martha and left for the car dealer. After hours of paper work and free ice creams for the whole family, we became owners of not one, but two cars. We drow home happily in our new family car and P went to pick up his car today. Well, I should day his toy, because it is a 'fun' car, an old, used sports car. It looks really cool! Today, we are totally mobile!
After that, we arranged the car insurance which was very important. P bought Cinderella for F and A, so they started watching it. Surprisingly (!) P fell asleep on the couch with two kids on his lap. F kept on talking to him, asking questions about the film. It didn't matter that she didn't get any answers. Next time when she keeps on asking endless questions, I won't bother giving answers either. Looks like she is OK with that.
Next morning, we went to the other Montessori school we wanted to see. We liked it a lot. It was small and looked very peaceful. We left there with a good feeling. Afterwards, we went to have a cup of coffee with Martha who is our relocation counselor and baby sitter for the school appointment - kids were not allowed to this first appointment. Martha told us that F was saying a lot of stuff in English when they were together. She told her 'speak English', named colors and she was counting. It is amazing!
At the Starbucks F and A both managed to spill their hot chocolate on their new shirts. They got really bored there, started running around, and picking up all the napkins and straws. Just before we got kick out of Starbucks, we left it voluntarily. We said goodbye to Martha and left for the car dealer. After hours of paper work and free ice creams for the whole family, we became owners of not one, but two cars. We drow home happily in our new family car and P went to pick up his car today. Well, I should day his toy, because it is a 'fun' car, an old, used sports car. It looks really cool! Today, we are totally mobile!
Monday, March 17, 2008
It is quite late already and I actually should be sleeping. I just wanted to write a little note about last Saturday, March 15th. P's colleague Martin, his wife and a friend of them came and picked us up to go to the city. It was Saint Patrick's day. F sat on my lap - very illegally -. I told her to duck when we see a police car. Of course she asked why. Well, that's what she's been doing the whole time, asking why. I think it is very normal for her age, but it is quite tyring for mama's. I explained very bravely that we could get a big fine if the police saw us. She was ducking for all the taxi's, she thought those were the police cars.
Downtown, we went to the river to see it painted green and saw a bit of the parade. I had a great time with our new friends and the kids enjoyed themselves a lot. It was a bit cold, but we were better prepared than the Americans who walked around in t-shirts.
What really funny to see was that the people on the streets didn't really have a party. It was nothing like the Brazilian Carnaval (Martin and the crew are from South America) and most probably nothing like Saint Patric's day in Ireland - (I read that the celebrations in New York are spectacular: 'the parade down Fifth Avenue is the largest St. Patrick’s Day celebration in the world, with about a quarter of a million marchers and several million spectators.'). The reason: nobody was drinking alcohol. People walked around with their fancy cola bottles and that extra sugar is just not enough to make a big party! At the parade, next to some nicely prepared parade cars and acts, there were big trucks with a text on them, and even a truck that mixes cement - why on earth?? - . One of the biggest attractions was the MCDonalds shoe en clown, F loved it. One thing is sure, the whole event was child friendly and when we left in the afternoon the streets were still very clean. Maybe later that evening the real party began, but we missed it.
I will write a last thing about today, 16th of March. We were first at the playground in a nature preserve. The kids enjoyed it a lot. It was the bribe before we went to the shopping mall to buy presents for P who's b-day is approaching. Shopping was not very successful, F and A went running around and I just could't look around to find the stuff I was looking for. At the end we managed to buy some stuff but I was fed up with the mall! We came back home tired, way too late than I was planning. After a quick pizza I brought the kids to bed and F said the this was the nicest day till now. She liked most the carousel at the mall, but actually everything was nice. Why do I ever worry that the kids will get bored here, there is a mall in every corner!
Downtown, we went to the river to see it painted green and saw a bit of the parade. I had a great time with our new friends and the kids enjoyed themselves a lot. It was a bit cold, but we were better prepared than the Americans who walked around in t-shirts.
What really funny to see was that the people on the streets didn't really have a party. It was nothing like the Brazilian Carnaval (Martin and the crew are from South America) and most probably nothing like Saint Patric's day in Ireland - (I read that the celebrations in New York are spectacular: 'the parade down Fifth Avenue is the largest St. Patrick’s Day celebration in the world, with about a quarter of a million marchers and several million spectators.'). The reason: nobody was drinking alcohol. People walked around with their fancy cola bottles and that extra sugar is just not enough to make a big party! At the parade, next to some nicely prepared parade cars and acts, there were big trucks with a text on them, and even a truck that mixes cement - why on earth?? - . One of the biggest attractions was the MCDonalds shoe en clown, F loved it. One thing is sure, the whole event was child friendly and when we left in the afternoon the streets were still very clean. Maybe later that evening the real party began, but we missed it.
I will write a last thing about today, 16th of March. We were first at the playground in a nature preserve. The kids enjoyed it a lot. It was the bribe before we went to the shopping mall to buy presents for P who's b-day is approaching. Shopping was not very successful, F and A went running around and I just could't look around to find the stuff I was looking for. At the end we managed to buy some stuff but I was fed up with the mall! We came back home tired, way too late than I was planning. After a quick pizza I brought the kids to bed and F said the this was the nicest day till now. She liked most the carousel at the mall, but actually everything was nice. Why do I ever worry that the kids will get bored here, there is a mall in every corner!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Too many boxes here, can anyone hear me
March 13
Did I say luxurious? Well the guys did a good job getting all the boxes out of the huge container. They brought everything as close as possible to where it may belong to. They unpacked the tables, chairs couches and beds and…they left. It is now 4 days since Monday and I think I will be unpacking for another month. Why and how on earth do people collect all these stuff and move with them? The kids are helping fine. It is quite cute to see their excitement when a plate or a vase comes out of a box. They play with their old toys as they are brand new. F asked me this morning if we could start with unpacking. We didn’t play with her new doll house for the last 4 days. P is on a business trip, so he misses all the fun – ha ha! Good timing of him. In the last couple of days, we were busy with unpacking, Nick the hero caught 2 raccoons and a skunk. Unfortunately one of the raccoons broke out of the cage, so he needs to be caught again. We met some new neighbor, couple streets further. We were walking outside – it is unbelievably nice weather today -. I saw a mother and a daughter outside with their dog. They were waiting for the other daughter to come back from school. We chat a bit, they seemed very nice. The daughter is 5 (Lina or something like that). F found it very exciting to meet new kids. We went on walking and she wanted to look at other streets to meet other kids. There was nobody outside. So she said, ‘then we just ring the bell’. ‘Well we cannot do that’ I said, ‘you can’t just ring the bell by people
Did I say luxurious? Well the guys did a good job getting all the boxes out of the huge container. They brought everything as close as possible to where it may belong to. They unpacked the tables, chairs couches and beds and…they left. It is now 4 days since Monday and I think I will be unpacking for another month. Why and how on earth do people collect all these stuff and move with them? The kids are helping fine. It is quite cute to see their excitement when a plate or a vase comes out of a box. They play with their old toys as they are brand new. F asked me this morning if we could start with unpacking. We didn’t play with her new doll house for the last 4 days. P is on a business trip, so he misses all the fun – ha ha! Good timing of him. In the last couple of days, we were busy with unpacking, Nick the hero caught 2 raccoons and a skunk. Unfortunately one of the raccoons broke out of the cage, so he needs to be caught again. We met some new neighbor, couple streets further. We were walking outside – it is unbelievably nice weather today -. I saw a mother and a daughter outside with their dog. They were waiting for the other daughter to come back from school. We chat a bit, they seemed very nice. The daughter is 5 (Lina or something like that). F found it very exciting to meet new kids. We went on walking and she wanted to look at other streets to meet other kids. There was nobody outside. So she said, ‘then we just ring the bell’. ‘Well we cannot do that’ I said, ‘you can’t just ring the bell by people
Our furniture will arrive
06 March
The container arrives on Monday. They will unpack as well, what a luxurious life!
The container arrives on Monday. They will unpack as well, what a luxurious life!
Close encounters with the wild life…..
05 March
The ones who know me a bit, know that I am city girl. Grown up in big city, the wild animals in my entourage are limited to wild cats and dogs and cockroaches. Well, I do love animals and have always been interested in them. At some point in my life, becoming a veterinarian crossed my mind.
When P showed me the house and said that the deer came in the garden, I found it quite poetic. Deers are beautiful animals. The one dead mouse by the sump pump was not a big problem; the exterminator came and ‘exterminated’ it all anyway.
When we first drove home with the kids, a squirrel crossed the road and I jumped on the cars seat in excitement, a childish joy. And the first week, we looked at the deer coming closer by, beautiful.
Second week, P said that he saw a raccoon. There is a raccoon nest right outside the window, under the big wooden box. Please check Wikipedia about the worm that the raccoon very often carry with it. Especially for toddlers it can be fatal. Well, there goes the romantic and the beauty of being so close to the wild life. Welcome nightmare. When I hear something about it, it keeps me out of my sleep. I think I already spend two nights torturing myself about how to protect the kids. Walking inside this house with outside shoes is from now on prohibited. The deck will be disinfected with the steam machine and the raccoon has to be removed.
So I went to the neighbors, to ask if they had experience with raccoons. Today, Kim was here with the phone number of a person who sets up traps and she said he was very good at his job and that he had quite some experience with this neighborhood - I am not surprised. She told me the story of a family having several raccoons and several skunks under their deck. ‘And sometimes’ she said to me ‘you hear the coyote taking down a deer. Then you hear a sound like a crying animal’. We heard it twice since we moved here, twice in three weeks. Monday, Nick the trap hero will be here. We will see what we will catch. And I am serious about disinfecting the garage and the deck. I will do the same with the play set outside. I don’t know what to do with the whole yard, should I just water it with hot water??
The ones who know me a bit, know that I am city girl. Grown up in big city, the wild animals in my entourage are limited to wild cats and dogs and cockroaches. Well, I do love animals and have always been interested in them. At some point in my life, becoming a veterinarian crossed my mind.
When P showed me the house and said that the deer came in the garden, I found it quite poetic. Deers are beautiful animals. The one dead mouse by the sump pump was not a big problem; the exterminator came and ‘exterminated’ it all anyway.
When we first drove home with the kids, a squirrel crossed the road and I jumped on the cars seat in excitement, a childish joy. And the first week, we looked at the deer coming closer by, beautiful.
Second week, P said that he saw a raccoon. There is a raccoon nest right outside the window, under the big wooden box. Please check Wikipedia about the worm that the raccoon very often carry with it. Especially for toddlers it can be fatal. Well, there goes the romantic and the beauty of being so close to the wild life. Welcome nightmare. When I hear something about it, it keeps me out of my sleep. I think I already spend two nights torturing myself about how to protect the kids. Walking inside this house with outside shoes is from now on prohibited. The deck will be disinfected with the steam machine and the raccoon has to be removed.
So I went to the neighbors, to ask if they had experience with raccoons. Today, Kim was here with the phone number of a person who sets up traps and she said he was very good at his job and that he had quite some experience with this neighborhood - I am not surprised. She told me the story of a family having several raccoons and several skunks under their deck. ‘And sometimes’ she said to me ‘you hear the coyote taking down a deer. Then you hear a sound like a crying animal’. We heard it twice since we moved here, twice in three weeks. Monday, Nick the trap hero will be here. We will see what we will catch. And I am serious about disinfecting the garage and the deck. I will do the same with the play set outside. I don’t know what to do with the whole yard, should I just water it with hot water??
Cinderella
March 01
I promised F that we will go to Cinderella. She has been asking about it every evening. When I wanted to reserve the tickets, it was sold out. So typical of me to wait till the last moment to see that we won’t be able to go. Fortunately, there happens a lot here. We could get tickets for The Little Mermaid at 6 o’clock in the evening – a two hour show. I was a little worried, is it going to be nice, will the kids like it and will they behave!!!! We had a quite day, didn’t do much. F must have felt there was something going on, and decided she actually didn’t want to go to the show. She was worried that it will be scary with the sea witch and all. Well honestly, I was a little worried myself. Those fairy tales can be quite scary if you think about it! Luckily, F was not too difficult to persuade.
We left home on time and drove to a school. We drove the parking area. I was looking around to see if there were other very young kids like A, and there MANY! There were little babies, and kids of all ages. Not only half of the audience, but the artists were kids too. It was a very nice musical version of the Little Mermaid. A was applauding with the rest of the audience and F was looking breathless.
I have to give it to the Americans. Such a nice production, put on stage by some kind of after school theater art school for kids is just so impressive. What an opportunity if your kid has talent and has the chance to join such a school!
I promised F that we will go to Cinderella. She has been asking about it every evening. When I wanted to reserve the tickets, it was sold out. So typical of me to wait till the last moment to see that we won’t be able to go. Fortunately, there happens a lot here. We could get tickets for The Little Mermaid at 6 o’clock in the evening – a two hour show. I was a little worried, is it going to be nice, will the kids like it and will they behave!!!! We had a quite day, didn’t do much. F must have felt there was something going on, and decided she actually didn’t want to go to the show. She was worried that it will be scary with the sea witch and all. Well honestly, I was a little worried myself. Those fairy tales can be quite scary if you think about it! Luckily, F was not too difficult to persuade.
We left home on time and drove to a school. We drove the parking area. I was looking around to see if there were other very young kids like A, and there MANY! There were little babies, and kids of all ages. Not only half of the audience, but the artists were kids too. It was a very nice musical version of the Little Mermaid. A was applauding with the rest of the audience and F was looking breathless.
I have to give it to the Americans. Such a nice production, put on stage by some kind of after school theater art school for kids is just so impressive. What an opportunity if your kid has talent and has the chance to join such a school!
Neighbors
February 12
This is a nice anecdote. It is 10 pm, we are in bed and P turns his light off to sleep. (we are going to sleep pretty early since we are here). I was just thinking that I heard some funny noise outside and we hear some kind of honking. I get out of bed and look outside. A snowplow cannot get through because our rental car is blocking the way. P says 'no way I am getting out. he can pass by'. Well, I don't think so. Typical P. I think. While I am trying to persuade P that he does not have a choice - except that he can send me there, but of course I don't mention it - a neighbor comes running to our house.
He had to get his truck out of the way too. I sign him from our bedroom window while P is looking for his socks and complaining that he has to get dressed - well I can't blame him. Luckily the neighbor sees me and does not ring the bell. Last thing we want is two kids totally awake just at the beginning of the night. P moves the car to the drive way of the neighbors and comes back to shuffle our driveway.
The same neighbor comes to help with his snow shovel. As I am thinking how nice that is, come another neighbor running to help.
Well what a surprisingly nice people to come to our help. Our driveway has now a clean spot where we can park our car.
At 10:40pm the whole car fits in its new spot!
This is a nice anecdote. It is 10 pm, we are in bed and P turns his light off to sleep. (we are going to sleep pretty early since we are here). I was just thinking that I heard some funny noise outside and we hear some kind of honking. I get out of bed and look outside. A snowplow cannot get through because our rental car is blocking the way. P says 'no way I am getting out. he can pass by'. Well, I don't think so. Typical P. I think. While I am trying to persuade P that he does not have a choice - except that he can send me there, but of course I don't mention it - a neighbor comes running to our house.
He had to get his truck out of the way too. I sign him from our bedroom window while P is looking for his socks and complaining that he has to get dressed - well I can't blame him. Luckily the neighbor sees me and does not ring the bell. Last thing we want is two kids totally awake just at the beginning of the night. P moves the car to the drive way of the neighbors and comes back to shuffle our driveway.
The same neighbor comes to help with his snow shovel. As I am thinking how nice that is, come another neighbor running to help.
Well what a surprisingly nice people to come to our help. Our driveway has now a clean spot where we can park our car.
At 10:40pm the whole car fits in its new spot!
Before we got here
For us, the adventure does not begin at the moment we actually move to the host country. First of all P, not too long after the decision, has to begin to work in the States. He leaves home 24th of September. I will stay here until I quit my job and we find a house there. There are things to be arranged. Our departure date is set to end of December. We have to see if we spend the new years eve here or there.
September 30
I talked to my boss and counselor about our plans already in the summer months. Now that the plans are definite I handed in my resignation today. It feels double. I know I will miss my colleagues, the excitement of a new project and the satisfaction when a good product is delivered to a customer –see, I am a CRM consultant with a big consulting company. I will not miss the stress of trying to get home on time to pick up the kids from daycare, the guilt I often felt when I had to bring a sick child to a relative, and the pure stress of an approaching deadline set just a bit too early because that’s how it works in consulting.
Wisdom: if your situation lets you to do so, play your cards open. I still find it was the best thing to do to talk to my boss early, even before our plans were definite. I only got support and good reactions. Moving abroad as an expat is different than going to a competitor.
I will work till the end of November. I will not be able to work 4 full days as I used to because of the absence of P. I have too much travel time, I cannot combine it with the daycare schedule.
Rest of September
I knew I was not going to have time to write daily, but this is worst than I could imagine. I don’t know how single mother can even work 1 day a week! I will have to summarize this period. I never had the chance to write.
October 1
Our little F is just starting school. It is so exciting for her and also for us. It is kind of odd knowing that she will leave school after Christmas holidays.
Last week of November: I go to USA to meet P and look for houses.
We stayed downtown, had a great time. Well, this is probably the only time we will have the chance to enjoy the city without kids to be entertained (which, honestly, I love to do). I love this city!
We looked together to couple of houses P selected in the last few weeks. The ones close to the city were really bad. As we get further from the city, the houses became better and better. The nicest house is 50 minutes to the downtown. This is disappointing for me; I want to be closer to the city. But it is a great place for the kids. The house have playground literally in its backyard. I can’t think of a better place to meet other kids and parents. With a little pain in my heart, we decided to take it. But of course I had to make things difficult for myself. I called P from the airport and told him that he should try to get another house that we saw. That one was a little above our budget and actually quite small. P said OK, he wants me to be happy here – so nice of him. In the plane I am calculating the size of the rooms and I think ‘what did I do?’. Do I actually think that we can live happier in a shoebox just because it is 30 min to downtown? I didn’t sleep the whole trip and I got off the plane with a big lip sore. I was lucky because the other house was not an option. We still go for the first house. P thinks I am strange, how could I be so happy the other house didn’t work out. I cannot blame him.
December:
Two days later P came home to spend most of December in Europe. We showed people the photo’s of the house. The next day, we got a message that the owners changed their mind – they were selling the house to some other people they were negotiating before us. Uups! P was not going back before the end of December, how on earth was he supposed to look for a new house.
This meant change of plans. We decided to move end of January, one month later than the original plan. I still stopped working at the end of November, had a very nice farewell from my work dinner, and became a house wife – I needed some practice before we left anyway. In December P was often home and we had our new years eve with friends instead of the four of us in the USA. That was very nice.
P left for the US at the beginning of January. Luckily, I had some friends and family around. I was invited for dinner with the kids, went shopping – with my own credit card, still got to get used to the idea -, went to the sports school – they actually have a babysitter service, had F’s friends over…. The most difficult moment was when we all got sick and didn’t have anyone to take care of us – except a friend who made a soup. I actually cried when my parents in law came two days later. They didn’t come because we were sick, I was going to the US for 2 nights to see the house P found.
The house:
I cannot say I didn’t feel any pressure. We wanted to move as soon as possible, we didn’t want to live apart with P anymore, he had enough of the hotels and the realtor was tired of us. P ensured me that if I didn’t like the house we would not take it.
I arrived the second time to meet P. I was still sick – I stayed in bed most of the journey. We went to see the house. It is in a small neighborhood. The backyard doesn’t really have neighbors. Not exactly the place I pictured us living in. It is a beautiful house though. So we took it.
F says goodbye to her class:
One of the difficult moments for me and F, the last day at school. It was a very nice farewell. F was OK, she didn’t really react to the events. At 10 o’clock, I went to school with A. F sat next to the teacher and she looked so proud. The teacher told the kids that F was leaving for America. She gave all the kids a small present and got very nice presents from some of the kids and from the class together. They had something to eat. A was sitting the whole time as the other kids on a small chair. She wanted to look like she belonged there. 30 minutes later I left with A. It was at the end of the school day that F was not like herself. She was doing like she was a baby, she didn’t want to say goodbye to other kids. My poor baby, she found it difficult to say goodbye, but she couldn’t explain it.
At moments like this, I just stop and ask myself if this is a step for the kids. I hope they will be happy in the US.
We are actually moving:
A Monday morning at the beginning of February, two men introduced themselves as the moving team. Two people? I was expecting an army. Well the second day, there were the three of them. The third and the last day, there were the six of them. It were very tiring days for me. P was in Europe but not around to help. Luckily the kids were at their grandparents. P came to see the last stuff being packed. We sat at the neighbor’s house and looked all our stuff going in a huge container.
We left to pick up the kids. We spent one night at P’s parents, left the next day to go back to the empty house. We thought it was a good idea to show them that all our stuff was gone. What do you think their reaction was? F actually danced in the empty house. A danced because F was dancing. No negative reaction at all! We said goodbye to our friends who were such a support for me and the kids the last couple of months. Thank you Katja and the kids, thank you Tanja and the family.
We spend our last night at other friends, Christine and family, who also deserve a thank you. Friday February 8, we left for US.
Business Class with two kids:
I always think it is very tiring to fly with the kids. I don’t like flying, and then I have to worry about everything for the kids. At least I thought we would have some comfortable trip, because we were flying business. The trip was much better than what I expected. The kids were just great. Even the gentleman sitting in front of us told me that the kids did very well, I was proud of them. Only, the some of the stewardesses didn’t think the same obviously, they were almost mean to us – others were nice. P actually asked one if she had a problem with us. The kids were not allowed to walk because they were disturbing other people – probably disturbing mostly herself. All of a sudden they couldn’t warm up milk. By the way, we were flying United, just in case you are looking for a ticket.
Hours later, we actually arrived to the States.
This is where the summary of the last months. From now on, the real blog will start.
September 30
I talked to my boss and counselor about our plans already in the summer months. Now that the plans are definite I handed in my resignation today. It feels double. I know I will miss my colleagues, the excitement of a new project and the satisfaction when a good product is delivered to a customer –see, I am a CRM consultant with a big consulting company. I will not miss the stress of trying to get home on time to pick up the kids from daycare, the guilt I often felt when I had to bring a sick child to a relative, and the pure stress of an approaching deadline set just a bit too early because that’s how it works in consulting.
Wisdom: if your situation lets you to do so, play your cards open. I still find it was the best thing to do to talk to my boss early, even before our plans were definite. I only got support and good reactions. Moving abroad as an expat is different than going to a competitor.
I will work till the end of November. I will not be able to work 4 full days as I used to because of the absence of P. I have too much travel time, I cannot combine it with the daycare schedule.
Rest of September
I knew I was not going to have time to write daily, but this is worst than I could imagine. I don’t know how single mother can even work 1 day a week! I will have to summarize this period. I never had the chance to write.
October 1
Our little F is just starting school. It is so exciting for her and also for us. It is kind of odd knowing that she will leave school after Christmas holidays.
Last week of November: I go to USA to meet P and look for houses.
We stayed downtown, had a great time. Well, this is probably the only time we will have the chance to enjoy the city without kids to be entertained (which, honestly, I love to do). I love this city!
We looked together to couple of houses P selected in the last few weeks. The ones close to the city were really bad. As we get further from the city, the houses became better and better. The nicest house is 50 minutes to the downtown. This is disappointing for me; I want to be closer to the city. But it is a great place for the kids. The house have playground literally in its backyard. I can’t think of a better place to meet other kids and parents. With a little pain in my heart, we decided to take it. But of course I had to make things difficult for myself. I called P from the airport and told him that he should try to get another house that we saw. That one was a little above our budget and actually quite small. P said OK, he wants me to be happy here – so nice of him. In the plane I am calculating the size of the rooms and I think ‘what did I do?’. Do I actually think that we can live happier in a shoebox just because it is 30 min to downtown? I didn’t sleep the whole trip and I got off the plane with a big lip sore. I was lucky because the other house was not an option. We still go for the first house. P thinks I am strange, how could I be so happy the other house didn’t work out. I cannot blame him.
December:
Two days later P came home to spend most of December in Europe. We showed people the photo’s of the house. The next day, we got a message that the owners changed their mind – they were selling the house to some other people they were negotiating before us. Uups! P was not going back before the end of December, how on earth was he supposed to look for a new house.
This meant change of plans. We decided to move end of January, one month later than the original plan. I still stopped working at the end of November, had a very nice farewell from my work dinner, and became a house wife – I needed some practice before we left anyway. In December P was often home and we had our new years eve with friends instead of the four of us in the USA. That was very nice.
P left for the US at the beginning of January. Luckily, I had some friends and family around. I was invited for dinner with the kids, went shopping – with my own credit card, still got to get used to the idea -, went to the sports school – they actually have a babysitter service, had F’s friends over…. The most difficult moment was when we all got sick and didn’t have anyone to take care of us – except a friend who made a soup. I actually cried when my parents in law came two days later. They didn’t come because we were sick, I was going to the US for 2 nights to see the house P found.
The house:
I cannot say I didn’t feel any pressure. We wanted to move as soon as possible, we didn’t want to live apart with P anymore, he had enough of the hotels and the realtor was tired of us. P ensured me that if I didn’t like the house we would not take it.
I arrived the second time to meet P. I was still sick – I stayed in bed most of the journey. We went to see the house. It is in a small neighborhood. The backyard doesn’t really have neighbors. Not exactly the place I pictured us living in. It is a beautiful house though. So we took it.
F says goodbye to her class:
One of the difficult moments for me and F, the last day at school. It was a very nice farewell. F was OK, she didn’t really react to the events. At 10 o’clock, I went to school with A. F sat next to the teacher and she looked so proud. The teacher told the kids that F was leaving for America. She gave all the kids a small present and got very nice presents from some of the kids and from the class together. They had something to eat. A was sitting the whole time as the other kids on a small chair. She wanted to look like she belonged there. 30 minutes later I left with A. It was at the end of the school day that F was not like herself. She was doing like she was a baby, she didn’t want to say goodbye to other kids. My poor baby, she found it difficult to say goodbye, but she couldn’t explain it.
At moments like this, I just stop and ask myself if this is a step for the kids. I hope they will be happy in the US.
We are actually moving:
A Monday morning at the beginning of February, two men introduced themselves as the moving team. Two people? I was expecting an army. Well the second day, there were the three of them. The third and the last day, there were the six of them. It were very tiring days for me. P was in Europe but not around to help. Luckily the kids were at their grandparents. P came to see the last stuff being packed. We sat at the neighbor’s house and looked all our stuff going in a huge container.
We left to pick up the kids. We spent one night at P’s parents, left the next day to go back to the empty house. We thought it was a good idea to show them that all our stuff was gone. What do you think their reaction was? F actually danced in the empty house. A danced because F was dancing. No negative reaction at all! We said goodbye to our friends who were such a support for me and the kids the last couple of months. Thank you Katja and the kids, thank you Tanja and the family.
We spend our last night at other friends, Christine and family, who also deserve a thank you. Friday February 8, we left for US.
Business Class with two kids:
I always think it is very tiring to fly with the kids. I don’t like flying, and then I have to worry about everything for the kids. At least I thought we would have some comfortable trip, because we were flying business. The trip was much better than what I expected. The kids were just great. Even the gentleman sitting in front of us told me that the kids did very well, I was proud of them. Only, the some of the stewardesses didn’t think the same obviously, they were almost mean to us – others were nice. P actually asked one if she had a problem with us. The kids were not allowed to walk because they were disturbing other people – probably disturbing mostly herself. All of a sudden they couldn’t warm up milk. By the way, we were flying United, just in case you are looking for a ticket.
Hours later, we actually arrived to the States.
This is where the summary of the last months. From now on, the real blog will start.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
The beginning
Hi everyone! I was telling about writing a blog about our adventure in the USA. Well, I hadn't create the blog page yet, but I have been writing down in my laptop. Well I think it is time to publish some of it. You really didn't expact it? too bad. One thing, why am I writing in English, well because there are more people who hopefully will be reading this blog and they don't all speak your language. With English, I will reach more people.
One more thing, I didn't use our names, but only the initials, but this should't be a problem for you. You received the link to this blog because you know us. If you just happened to read this without invitation - be my guest - P is the husband, O is the wife, F is child 1 and A is child 2.
And now, here comes the first parts of my blog..
When P said in the summer of 2007 that he got a position offered in the headquarters of his company, we knew we had an important decision to make. I told him, partly convinced him, that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Kind of surprised to my reaction, P accepted the job and this was the beginning of our expat adventure in the States. Here is the diary of an expat family in the US.
One more thing, I didn't use our names, but only the initials, but this should't be a problem for you. You received the link to this blog because you know us. If you just happened to read this without invitation - be my guest - P is the husband, O is the wife, F is child 1 and A is child 2.
And now, here comes the first parts of my blog..
When P said in the summer of 2007 that he got a position offered in the headquarters of his company, we knew we had an important decision to make. I told him, partly convinced him, that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Kind of surprised to my reaction, P accepted the job and this was the beginning of our expat adventure in the States. Here is the diary of an expat family in the US.
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