More soccer from F, without touching the ball!

F has her own way of playing soccer. She just runs with the other kids, looks to the other side if the ball comes close to her and does anything to avoid the ball touching her. Yes we had another practice and game last week.

After the practice, P and the coach started playing soccer. We were gonna drive little neighbor boy home, so he was with us too. He started playing with the big boys. F joined them at last. The trainer was impressed with the difference in F at the training and F after the training. She was really playing soccer, running hard after the ball, shooting and not shy.

The next day, the coach Can thought we had a break through, F would play as she is supposed to. She went to the field to meet the other kids and I saw her head bending to one side. When I see that I know it, she is getting shy and she doesn't know what to do. How can we explain the game to her, how can we make sure that she understands that:

• she has a team,
• there is a ball,
• when your team has the ball, try to score,
• when the other team has the ball, try to get it back.

We were trying to encourage her from the sideline, telling to run to the ball, to do her best etc. We kind of got frustrated at a certain moment, Can looked desperate. Then the game was over and F came to us. She actually had the idea that she did well. At that moment, the only thing I could do is to give a big hug while thinking 'what can I do to make her understand the game?!'. Next Friday is the next training. Good luck to all of us!

To Be Writers Journal 2 - Paul Newman died

Last Friday, Paul Newman died. He was 83 years old.

When I picked up the Sunday newspaper, his picture was on the front page. He looked old and still good. I don't know much about him, probably because he is from another generation and I do not especially follow actors' lives. I did watch some of his movies, though. I remember seeing 'the Sting' - one of my father's favorites, but Robert Redford is the one that I remember better. In 'the color of money', Tom Cruise was the one - I was a teenager.

Paul Newman's picture on the front page kept on getting in my sight, and finally I could not refuse to read the article. He was not the regular super star. He had a modest lifestyle, lived in Connecticut instead of Hollywood, was married to his wife for 50 years and he used his fortune and fame for charity. It sounds like a good 83 years he had, I hope it for him.

I look at the picture again. An 83 year old dead man. Why does his picture stays in my head, why am I fascinated with the article? I just try to refuse writing what I am actually thinking in the last three paragraphs. He makes me think of my father. It is not the fact that they both have those striking blue eyes; it is something different. It is the old face surrounding the eyes, it is the fact that my father is getting old too. And he is so far away, that I can go and see him just once a year; and every time I am there, I realize he got even older. Paul Newman is now dead...

I look at Paul Newman again, thinking about the time I was still living home. My father would get a childish sparkle in his eyes whenever one of his favorite movies was on TV for the first time. He would look at our reaction through out the show. He would get this triumphant smile at the end: 'you see, I knew you would like it!'. Funny how your parents seems so old when you are a child. When I think of those days, I realize that my father was then young.

To Be Writers Journal 1 - in the train

I am sitting in the train going back home from my first creative writing lesson. Nice to have some time off from my regular life and I look, unworried and relaxed, to my fellow passengers.
For the course, we are expected to keep a journal, a journal to write what you feel and think. That’s my interpretation of it. It has to be something other than my expat diary. For two weeks, I will transform my expat blog to my homework media. We’ll see how the audience will like it!?

So, I am sitting in the train and I write this posting on paper to be typed at home. The train is a good place to get some writing material. Look at me, I am stuck here, cannot go anywhere while I am actually in motion to my destination. This gives such a comforting feeling that I give myself the permission to relax and look around.

I sit in somewhere halfway in an almost empty wagon, and I watch the few other passengers. They look so regular, so uninteresting, but let me take you to their lives and you will see how interesting they can be: The guy at the front, second seat on the left with the blemished skin and crazy hair, is just back from a jam session. He never became the famous trumpet player he wanted to be – and became a dentist – but he never gave up his music. He goes every week on Monday evening to the Sunset bar, and jams for couple of hours. You can see that he still has the music in his head; he plays the rhythm with his fingers.

“NOW WE ARE APPROACHING BROOKFIELD”

Are we already at Brookfield station, this is going to be a short trip home.
The lady sleeping in the seat next to mine is a nurse. She is tired, very tired. She hopes not to miss her stop. It happened to her before. She woke up in Belmont, five stops too late. She just cannot keep her eyes open, they are just too heavy. She is supposed to work ten hours a day, giving shots, taking blood pressures, dealing with all kinds of patients. Some are friendly, others demanding, sometimes even mean. It is a hard job, but she likes it. She is good in it. Days like today, when her ten hours becomes twelve – a colleague got sick – she stays without complaining. She…” Which stop was that? Oh, OK, still two to go. Keep the eyes open, keep them open…”

“NOW APPROACHING WESTERN SPRINGS”

The guy on the back with the suit and the laptop looks around with a friendly smile. He fired to people today. Nobody really understood why those two had to go. With the current economic situation, nobody dared to ask a thing. “These are hard times”, everyone said. He is boss feared by everyone at the company. In the train though, he smiles friendly to these people he does not know.

“NEXT STOP WILL BE DOWNERS GROVE/MAIN STREET”

It is time to stop writing. I am almost home.

The web is gone crazy!

After my last posting just an hour ago, I decided to read for my writing course, I have real homework to do. Just before that I thought I will do a little reading and commenting on some blogs I follow time to time. I was very happy to see that Bleeding Espresso (http://bleedingespresso.com/) posted the potato salad recipe I was gonna search on Internet one of these days. We will have little BBQ soon. I commented - don't know if it went OK, I couldn't find my comment on the page later on, and went on reading some more stuff.

First this posting, and than that, I started following some links on subjects as 'how do you increase traffic on your blog' and one hour later, I GOT LOST ON THE WEB! It still amazes me how much time and energy people are putting in those blogs, I am a super rookie, my blog is not even a baby, it's an embryo. Looking at my homework, the messy house and the 2,5 hours a day I have alone to myself, my blog will stay an embryo forever! This is very sad and I can't even say 'I will get a drink and forget about the whole thing for a while' because I am stuffed with too many drugs (medicines!) at this moment. I think I will do something crazy, turn off the computer, take my antibiotic 2 hours too early -OK, too dramatic, I know 2 hours difference can't cause an overdose', and go to sleep! Ciao!

To sue or not to sue....

Two days later - and it feels like two weeks - I still have the pain, fortunately I can stand it with 2 instead of 4 Ibuprofen 800's a day. I didn't know it existed in 800 mg! Well the improvement is obvious. It's supporting to hear that more people compare tooth pain to bearing a kid or a c section - fellow expat women!

This morning I got a bit stressed when I saw that I had only 4 Ibuprofen left, it's a just a days dose! (I became an addict!) I decided to go see the dentist. He started telling me the same story about what probably happened, that the bleach supposed to kill the nerves (don't try it at home please) probably irritated the tissue around the root etc. He draw it on poster on the wall - exactly what he did last time I went to tell him that I was suffering -. Then he handed me a paper, one page with information about the risks of a root canal that he thought I should have received it the first time I was there. He asked me if I had read it, I said 'probably, but I am not in state of remembering such a thing'. He if I had it, I said, 'ah most probably'. He, thus, printed out the copy and asked me if I had signed it. I read the last line, it was about liability, something like 'I understand that horrible things can happen if I have a root canal but I accept it all beforehand'. The guy was probably checking if his ass was covered - sorry to say that way-. welcome to America! I almost said ' I am not here to sue you till your last dollar, I just want you help because I am suffering!!!!'.

He did. He gave me some medicine with steroids which kind of scared me. I checked with the pharmacist to make sure that it will not have strange side effects as growing hair, growing super muscles, transforming myself to a manlike woman, who knows? After the ass covering event, I slightly lost trust to my dentist as you see. Fortunately, now I am enjoying my 2 Ibuprofen evening and I even feel creative, maybe I will write one more post or study for my writing class. See doctor, no reason to get stressed.

Root canal and the kids

This is no comparison of a root canal with the behaviour of the kids. I am in pain, in real pain. Can't think of anything, this root canal just took over everything. Monday I left my new dentist - who coincidentally has Belgium roots and part of his family lives in Turkey, - with the positive feeling that I was just OK. No more toothache, I thought, not for a while. Yesterday the pain said 'hello, I'm coming' and today was AAAAAAAAA. And I can stand some pain, I think I am allowed to say that after delivering 2 kids 100% naturally. I am in pain and it paralyzes me. The only think I want to do is lay down and sleep. The whole day, I can't think of anything else. But...Of course I have the kids running around and I find myself getting angry for no reason, or just ignoring whatever they are saying to me. I have, today, continuously rejected playing princess or playing with F's new doll she got from the neighbors for her b-day. When I am writing this, I feel so guilty. She came home from school totally excited, she only wanted to play with her toy. She said she didn't do anything nice today, which is of course not true; but I know what she means. A was with me alone when the pain reliever had worked for a little while, so we had some fun together. My poor little F, she deserves so much attention after having her b-day without a celebration! We will have party for her, but it is in two weeks.

Oh! I can't write anymore, I just want to rip out this tooth and get rid of the pain. I hope my dentist is a good one - he looks really nice and reliable, but I have no other reference - and I hope there is nothing wrong with the root canal. Can't even round up this posting. Bye.

Please sleep....

It is 9.30 pm and I decided to take a post right in front of the girls' doors. A is sleeping and I just can't let F wake her up by...crying for some other song? They just don't mind the 'mad mum' I become when I get tired and cannot have it anymore. No there is no stop, no rest...The crying and calling goes on and on. The 'mad mum' gets more grey hair, gets more 'mad' which results in even more crying. That's why I am sitting on the floor with my aching back and writing. The sound of typing has a suiting effect on the kids, probably. There is no crying for the last 15 minutes. I think we have a great break through. We just have to sit and type every evening, sounds so appealing!

Well I shouldn't complain that much, I have to admit that I slept till 9.00 this morning and now I am paying the price. My back is hurting so bad, I will stop now. I will just continue making the typing sound and relax...